madbottoms | Born This Way - Chapter 20 (Reply)

Title: Born This Way 20

Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John, Gray, Owen, Toshiko/Tommy, Suzie, OCs

Rating: NC-17

Warnings/Contains: Supernatural themes, character death, drug references, dub-con.

Summary: Sequel to Choices - Ianto Jones was born and raised in Hell, but he isn’t feeling as demonic as usual lately—thanks to Jack Harkness. But you can’t desert Hell without consequences and suddenly Ianto’s and Jack’s happily ever after may not be so happy.

Note: I know it’s been a little frustrating but thanks to everyone for sticking with it and for those who have commented and for those hiding in the shadows reading, too. In this part, we get more Gray and Elle (yes, I know, not your favourite pair), and Owen being Owen.

Falling

Gray

We get Owen up to Ianto’s and he pulls me aside. “He can’t know about Owen,” he says to me with a warning glare, then glances at Jack as he guides Owen into the bathroom.

“He has to know. If he insists on trying to save him, he’s only going to put himself in danger.”

“And you don’t think he’s going to try to ‘save’ him if he knows Owen’s tagged? It’ll be worse. He’ll blame herself.”

“You have to tell him,” I say as Owen retches over the toilet.

“Not yet.”

“Soon,” I say.

Elle comes up behind Ianto. “Jack’s got Owen.” She waves her hand in the direction of the bathroom, and her face scrunches. “And I don’t do puke, so I’m outta here.”

“I’ll walk you back,” I say.

She looks at me. “It’s, like, thirty feet. I think I can make it.”

“I’m coming with you,” I insist as she turns for the door. Ianto scowls after me and heads for the bathroom.

I walk up the hall with Elle. “Did you see the guy? Was he there?”

She shakes her head as she turns her keys in the locks. “I wasn’t really looking.”

“I want you to stay away from those guys. Give me your mobile number.”

She looks down at her foot and scuffs her toe at a piece of gum stuck to linoleum. “Can’t afford one.”

Tendrils of panic snake through me. They’re not going to be happy about what happened tonight, and they’re already stalking Elle. She’s the weak link in the raiding party. A mortal already tagged for Hell. They’ll come after her. “I want to know if they come anywhere near you—at work—anywhere.”

She glances down the hall before pushing through the door.

I follow. “This isn’t the safest place you could live, you know.”

She spins around and looks at me. “It’s all I can afford.”

“No one’s helping you out?”

“I’ve been on my own for a while. And I’ve got to swing this university thing on my own. I’ve got some scholarships and financial aid to pay tuition, but my job doesn’t pay much, and that goes for rent and everything.”

I watch as she carefully twists all the deadbolts back into place and heads for the kitchen. She reaches into the fridge and comes out with two Cokes. I pop the top and settle into the couch. “What about your family?” I say.

She slides onto the couch and I feel hot electricity course through me when she curls in next to me. “There’s no one I care about. I never knew my mum, and my father…” Her whole body clenches into a hard ball.

There’s a tug at my core, like my insides are being ripped out. I want so much to help her, but I don’t know what to do. I drape my arm around her shoulders and pull her tight to my side, stroking her hair.

When her tears start, I find myself wanting to kiss them away. But I don’t. She buries her face in my shoulder and I let her cry. When her tears slow, I ask, “Would it help to talk about it?”

She pulls her head from my shoulder. “I don’t think I could.”

“Well, if you want to—now or later—I have big ears and a small mouth.”

Her lips pull into an almost smile. “Your ears are a little big, but your mouth looks pretty perfect to me.” And when she leans in and her lips meet mine, I’d swear I was just hit with a blast of Hellfire. Heat rips through my human form.

I don’t know what to do. God knows I’ve wanted this. I’m completely torn between pulling her closer and pushing her away. But I can’t push her away. I can’t make myself do it. So I kiss her back. I’m feeling just short of terrified, but as I melt into her, the fire spreading under my skin settles into a warm glow. I deepen our kiss, needing to feel closer, wanting this—my first kiss with my first girlfriend—to last forever.

When she pulls back, I wait for a second, expecting avengers to appear and strip my wings. When they don’t, I breathe a sigh of relief and realise Elle is staring at me, her eyes looking as scared as I feel.

“Sorry,” she says. “I thought—”

I stop her with a finger on her warm, moist lips. “You thought right,” I whisper and lean in again.

A thrill races through me at her touch. All my desires flare—everything I want but can’t have.

Could I? With Elle? If it’s love and not lust, would I lose my wings? Because I do love her. I’ve loved her from the second I first saw her.

I cup her cheek in my hand and bring her face to mine again. Now that the fear is lessening, I can focus on her and how it feels to touch her like this. And as we kiss, what I feel…it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I feel emotions swell inside me, and before I even realise I’ve opened my mouth, I hear myself say, “I love you, Elle.”

She leaps off the couch, her eyes wide. “What?”

My heart, if I had one, would be in my throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“You didn’t mean it. I know,” she says, lowering her lashes.

I pull myself slowly from the cushions and stand here, not sure what the right reply is. But I can’t lie. “I did mean it. I’m just sorry if I shouldn’t have said it.”

She looks even more stunned and backs away a few steps. We stand here, staring at each other for what feels like an eternity, before she turns and runs for the bathroom.

Needing to do something to help her, I start to follow, but as she reaches the door, she holds up her hand, warning me off. “Just give me a sec, okay?”

I settle back into the couch as she closes the door. I come so close to passing through that wall, invisible, to check on her, but she asked for privacy, so I glue myself to the cushions.

When she comes back from the bathroom, she curls up next to me on the couch. A tear courses a crooked path down her cheek. I wipe it away and kiss her again. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve just never been with someone who…No one’s ever loved me before.”

“I love you,” I repeat, and pull her closer.

She settles into my side and I hold her. And I know this is where I’m supposed to be.

*~*

Jack

Owen’s in the shower, and I have to keep poking my head in the door to make sure he’s upright. I brought him to my house last night when he was with it enough to call his Mum, and he stayed over. I helped him to the bathroom twice in the middle of the night so he could heave into the toilet, and spent the rest of the night curled around him in the bed while he shook.

I towel off my wet hair and toss the damp towel at Gray, where he lounges across my bed and tighten my robe. “You think Owen’s gonna be okay?”

I’d almost swear anger flashes in his eyes before they turn sad. “I don’t know.”

“He’s just so…messed up. I think that demon did something to him—I mean other than…you know.” My stomach twists into a hard ball as the image from the party surfaces.

“You’ll have to ask your boyfriend about that,” he says, his voice suddenly acid.

My eyes shoot to him. “What would Ianto know about it?”

“Everything. He’s one of them.”

“Stop it, Gray,” I snap.

His eyes narrow and his voice becomes a growl. “He lies to you, Jack.”

“He doesn’t! But, speaking of lying, he thinks there’s something going on with you and Elle.”

Gray doesn’t answer. He just lies there, staring.

“So…is there?”

He doesn’t look at me. I can see him struggling to get the word no out of his mouth, but he can’t lie.

I feel myself soften as a flicker of hope tickles my brain.

“So, how would that work, exactly? Could you…I don’t know…”

He lifts his head and looks dead at me with a rueful half smile. “No.”

“Why not? Ianto is with me.” I hear the hope in my voice and I know it’s selfish. Is it wrong to hope he can have a life?

“It doesn’t work that way. Even if I wanted it—”

“Why not? It’s not fair.”

He jumps off the bed, and his glare burns through me. The hair on my arms stands on end as his power surges, and ozone fills the room. His voice is a low growl. “Don’t talk to me about fair. That demon gets everything and I get nothing.”

His eyes spread wide and his face pulls into a mask of shock as my stomach drops to my knees. I can’t believe Gray just said that. Not only what he said, but how he said it. And, from the look on his face, neither can he.

“I…,” he starts, but trails off, shocked speechless. He drops his forehead into his hand and rubs.

“Gray…I’m…” What? Sorry? I lower my eyes and stare at my hands. “It shouldn’t have been this way.”

He sits back on the bed. “Well, it is,” he says, sounding really tired.

I ease into my desk chair and look up at him cautiously. “And you’re wrong about Ianto,” I say, knowing this might not be the right time, but feeling like I need to say it anyway. “He’s mortal now. Just like me.”

He heaves a huge sigh, but his eyes stay trained on the carpet. “He’ll never be like you.”

“You’re wrong. Ianto loves me. He’s human. He’d never do anything to hurt me.”

“Maybe,” Gray concedes. The corner of his mouth lifts in a weary half smile. “But he can’t protect you either.”

“Well…maybe. But lighten up, okay? Cut him some slack.”

He blows out another sigh and looks me in the eye. “As he earns it. I just hope I don’t regret it.”

I roll my eyes at him. “If you’re gonna be any good at this guardian angel thing, you’re gonna need to get a grasp on who the real enemy is. It’s not Ianto.”

“According to you. You’re forgetting that I’m the professional. I think I have a little more insight into people’s character than you do.”

I roll my eyes again, but I can’t stop the smile. “Am I allowed to reassign you?”

Something flashes in his eyes, and for just a second he looks like he might say yes. He pulls himself off the bed. “No.”

“’Cause I really think Owen needs you more than I do.”

Gray’s eyes drop from mine, and he turns toward the window. “I need you to do something for me.” He turns back from the window, and there’s something desperate and a little wild in his expression.

“Yeah?” I say cautiously.

He looks up sharply and disappears just before the door cracks open and Owen drags himself through, wrapped in my spare bathrobe. He still looks like death: tired and too thin, with big purple circles under his dull gray eyes, and skin the colour of ash.

“You gonna make it?” I ask him, standing.

“Maybe.” His voice is sour. He doesn’t look at me.

I walk over and hug him, even though that’s not really our thing. “I’m not gonna let him hurt you again.”

He pulls away and glares at me, then grabs his clothes off the floor. “Yeah, whatever.”

“You good to go home? You can spend the day here if you want.”

“I’m good.” He yanks his shirt over his head.

I’m not sure what the right thing to say is. I can tell he’s not really “good,” but I don’t know what to do to change that.

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

He spins on me and spits, “Just get out of my face, Harkness!” His face is etched with hatred.

I just stand here staring at him, stunned.

“I’m so sick of you playing holier-than-thou, like you’re so seriously perfect or something.”

“Owen, I just want to help.”

“Well, you can help by leaving me the hell alone.” He tugs on his jeans, nearly falling over. He jerks away from me as I try to steady him. “I’m outta here.”

“Owen…”

He turns and glares murder at me on his way out my door. “Get out of my face!”

And all of a sudden, I’m furious. “You have no idea what Ianto and I risked getting you out of there.”

“I didn’t ask you to. I didn’t want you to.”

“You don’t see what he is, Owen.”

His eyes darken as his face pulls taut. “I see him just fine. Leave us alone.”

“No. I won’t.”

He spins and moves as quickly as he can on shaky legs toward the stairs. “Just fuck off!” he says without turning.

“Fine! You know what? Go to hell!” I yell down the stairs after him.

My words trail into deafening silence as he slams his way out the front door. Mum appears at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at me with a question in her concerned eyes. I just shake my head and turn for my room, where I lay back on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I growl in frustration and rub my temples as I realise what an idiot I am. Owen’s not thinking straight. He needs my help.

God, I wish John were here. He’d know what to do. And just as I think it, I smell summer snow and feel something feather soft brush against my cheek. There’s an instant of shock and my heart feels like it stalls, but then it picks up double-time as I start to breathe again. I sit up slowly and look around.

“John,” I whisper to the empty room, my eyes wide and heart pounding. But the sensation is gone as quickly as it came, and I’m left feeling more alone than ever.

I lie here forever, wishing for John and trying to decide what to do. Finally, I drag myself off the bed and throw on my jeans and a T-shirt.

“Mum, I’m going to Owen’s!” I yell on my way through the family room, and don’t wait for a response.

I jog to Owen’s, but when I get there and knock on the door, it’s Tommy who answers.

“Hey, Tommy. Can I talk to Owen?”

“He’s not here.”

My stomach drops. “He didn’t come home?”

“He was here for like five minutes. Went right to his room. But then that guy with the hearse pulled up. He bolted out to his car and they took off.”

I pull out my phone and dial his number, but it goes to voice mail without ringing. “Shit.”

“What?”

“That guy is seriously bad news, Tommy.” I feel bile rise in my throat as I think about what he did to him.

“I’ve never even seen him. He just pulls up and Owen runs.”

I back down the stairs. “I’ve gotta find him. Call me if he comes home,” I yell over my shoulder as I turn and jog toward the sidewalk.