Born This Way - Chapter 26

[madbottoms]

Title: Born This Way 26

Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John, Gray, Owen, Toshiko/Tommy, Suzie, OCs

Rating: NC-17

Warnings/Contains: Supernatural themes, character death, drug references.

Summary: Sequel to Choices - Ianto Jones was born and raised in Hell, but he isn’t feeling as demonic as usual lately—thanks to Jack Harkness. But you can’t desert Hell without consequences and suddenly Ianto’s and Jack’s happily ever after may not be so happy.

Note: Ianto may have gone back to Hell with Suzie but he’s not about to give up without a fight.

 

26

*~*

Unholy Hell

*~*

Jack

The sheets are hopelessly tangled around me, and my heart hammers in my chest as my own scream wakes me from my restless sleep. There was lightning in my head, but it was different this time.

It felt good.

My scream wasn’t a scream of agony. It was ecstasy.

Ianto.

I felt him—his dark, shadowy energy—when I was out last week with Tosh. I even thought I saw him, for just an instant, at the coffee shop—and smelled his cinnamon. He’s been with me every day since then, a feeling I just can’t shake, tugging at that deep place in my heart that can’t seem to let him go.

And he was in my dream too. I felt the lightning in my head as I was doing horrible things to Ianto, torturing him. Snakes. Claws. Fire. And he was screaming, every scream sending another bolt of excruciating pleasure through my brain.

Oh, God—I liked it.

What the hell is wrong with me?

But as my head spins, making me feel sick, I realise that it wasn’t really me. The person torturing Ianto in my dream was someone else. Someone shadowy—without form or face. I was watching through their eyes as Ianto screamed— feeling their bloodlust—and I revelled in it.

A shiver rushes through me and I roll for the bin next to the bed, afraid I’m gonna throw up. But I don’t. I groan and fall back into my pillows as the door cracks open.

Dad pokes his head in. “Jack, son? Are you okay?” When he sees me, sweaty and shaking, he comes in and kneels by the bed.

I try to breathe my pulse down, but it doesn’t work. I look behind me, expecting to find John in the bed, but he’s not here. I need him. I look up at Dad. “Yeah, sorry. Just a dream.” My voice breaks and he doesn’t buy it.

His expression is heartbroken as he squeezes my shoulder. “I know it’s been a rough few weeks….”

“I’m really okay, Dad.” I prop up onto my elbow. “Or at least I will be.”

“Do you want me to stay?”

“No. I’m good. Thanks.” I drop back onto my pillow and try to smile. I’m sure I don’t fool him, but he sighs and gets to his feet then turns for the door.

“Call if you need me.”

“Sure, Dad.”

The door clicks shut behind him and I let loose the emotions I’d been holding back. I roll and bury my face in the pillow to muffle the screams. Then a hand rubs my back and I’m flooded in cool winter sunshine. I sit up on the bed and look at John, where he sits on the edge. “Where were you?”

“There was something I needed to take care of.”

“Ianto…I dreamed—”

“I know.”

The ache in my core forces me to ask. I have to know. “What was that? What I saw?”

The midnight shadows don’t hide the concern lining his face, but he doesn’t answer.

My heart thrums against the weight pressing down on my chest, and I can’t draw a breath. “John—?”

“I’m working on it, Jack,” he snaps.

He’s never talked to me like that before. Something’s seriously wrong. I feel terror rip through every cell of my body. “Working on what? Where’s Ianto?”

He hesitates. “In Hell.”

The room swims. I can’t breathe. The lightning in my head—it was real. I look him in the eye. “He’s…dead?”

“Not technically.”

“Oh, God! Just tell me what’s going on!”

He breathes a heavy sigh. “He’s a demon, Jack.” It’s like a punch to the gut, knocking all the wind out of me. “A demon…in Hell.”

I look up at him. “He went back?” John’s eyes are sad as he nods.

“Why would he go back?”

He smooths a hand over my cheek. “Guess he didn’t think he had a reason to stay here anymore.”

I press into him and let him work my heart rate back down to something resembling normal. “So he’s gone…for real.”

“I’m working on some things to bring him back.”

I settle deeper into him and breathe against the hole in my chest, trying to fill it. And I do feel it fill—with rage. It bubbles up inside me until I feel myself shaking with it. I’ve just started to get to the point where the thought of Ianto doesn’t crush my heart. It’s been so hard, but I knew I needed to get over him.

But he went back. Without a second thought.

I push away from John. “Don’t bring him back here for me.”

Those blue eyes pierce mine to my soul as he reaches up and strokes my cheek with his thumb. His eyes storm, swirling darker, but somehow still bright. And then his lips are on mine, so gentle, but desperate at the same time.

I taste his cool winter sunshine and it explodes through me, lighting up the darkness in my core. I’m blanketed in summer snow, putting out the fire of my rage. I press harder into him, deepening our kiss, needing more.

He stiffens, which brings me back to my senses.

“I don’t want you,” I whisper into his lips, trying to mean it. He presses his forehead into mine.

“I know.” I feel him shudder as he pulls away. “This is so hard.”

“I’m sorry. I’m trying not to…” What? I’m trying not to want him, I guess. But he makes it impossible not to love him.

He pulls me to his shoulder, and he’s shaking. “I’m bringing him back for both of us,” he says. “I love you….”

The butterflies that had been tickling my stomach explode in a flurry. I breathe them back, then pull out of his arms and look into his beautiful blue eyes. “I love you too.”

His smile is sad. “…but I can’t have you. You belong with Ianto.” He stands and walks to the door. I’ll be right here,” he says, opening it. “Call me if you need me.” He vanishes as he passes through into the hall.

“I need you,” I whisper after him.

I drop back into the pillows, determined not to fall asleep again, and lie here watching the moonlit shadows dancing on my ceiling. I trace my burning lips with my finger, trying not to want John…or worry about Ianto.

*~*

Ianto

Lucifer continues to pace wide circles around the post I’m still hanging from, scrutinising me from every angle.

I’ve lost track of time. It’s impossible to tell how long I’ve been chained here. What I do know is that Lucifer usually likes to drag things out, and in this case, no doubt He’ll leave me hanging here for months. Maybe years.

He steps up to me, His leathery face in mine, and I steel myself for another round. “Change!” He roars.

I hang my head in exhaustion and glance at the red gashes across my chest. Gashes that would be bleeding if I were still human, but burn like acid nonetheless. They’re everywhere—on my legs, my back. A Hound circles the post a safe distance behind Lucifer, snapping and snarling. He brought the Hounds in when He decided I needed to be a more “visual” example for the masses.

But the Mage still stands, there grinning. Waiting.

I wince against the inevitable pain my response will invoke. “No.”

Lucifer sighs and snaps His fingers. The Hound’s teeth are in my shoulder, tearing at my flesh, the venom sending searing pain down my spine. I wish for each slash to kill me, but I know it’s not going to be that merciful.

I feel my resolve slip as pain shoots through every cell of my body. “Okay,” I growl through clenched teeth. I try to lift my head, but it weighs a thousand pounds.

Lucifer whistles and the Hound backs off. I sink against the post, twisting in the hand shackles and pressing my forehead into the charred wood. He stares at me, waving His hand impatiently in my direction with a raised eyebrow.

I screw my eyes shut, as if not seeing myself change will make a difference, and focus on holding on to that piece of Jack in my heart. But just as I’m about to push off my human form, the acrid air swirls and bright white light cuts through the rolling azure shadows.

The last thing I hear as I’m yanked through time and space in a dizzying rush is Lucifer’s roar.

*~*

I come to in a soft bed covered in white sheets. In a white room. With white furniture.

John’s. It’s got to be.

I pull the sheet aside and examine myself. The wounds in my chest and arms are severe, but healing—one upside of being a demon. But the memory of the burn is still there—a deep, uncomfortable tingle.

I swing around and sit on the edge of the bed, and my head swims.

But then it really hits me. I’m at John’s. Someone had enough pull—Sway—to drag me out of Hell. Right out from under King Lucifer.

I feel unsteady again. “Jack,” I whisper.

I know I shouldn’t hope for it, but I can’t help myself. I spring off the bed and stagger, then catch my balance and reach for the clothes in the white armchair near the bed. I pull on the jeans and T-shirt John left for me and bolt out the door and down the stairs on unsteady legs.

John is sprawled on the couch in the living room, one leg propped on the armrest, squinting at the small print of a book.

“You should really look into reading glasses.” I glance eagerly around the room for Jack, but it’s just the two of us. John rests the open book across his knee and watches me in silence as I stumble over my feet on the way to the chair under the window and drop into it. “So, what happened?”

He cocks half a smile. “It’s a very long story.”

I lean forward, elbows on knees. “Seeing as I seem to be immortal again, I’ve got all the time you need.”

“We found a loophole.”

I glare at him. “As far as long stories go, that one seems a bit lacking.”

He shifts uneasily on the couch. “That small portion of your essence that’s still a human soul belongs to us, so we exercised our claim to it. Of course, there are always politics involved. It took me a while to convince Him to intervene—Michael was no help on that front—because we had to step on a lot of toes getting you out of there.”

My heart sinks and I sag back into the chair, dropping my gaze to the carpet, because I thought…

“It wasn’t Jack.” I say it out loud to make it real—to confirm it to myself. I was wrong to hope he’d changed his mind and used his Sway to save me.

He confirms what I already know when he hesitates before answering. “No, it wasn’t.”

So that’s it. Jack is done with me for good.

Acid rises in my throat and I swallow it back, but I hear it in my voice nonetheless. “So, you saved my sorry arse once again.”

“Not keeping score, dude.”

I sigh. “Why’d you bother?”

“I need your help.” He puts the book down and smirks at me. “Imagine my surprise when I came looking for you and found you in Hell.”

“You should have left me there.”

He sinks back into the cushions and blows out a long sigh. “Jack needs you.”

“Yeah, he needs me gone, and the Fiery Pit is about as gone as I can get.”

He pulls himself out of the couch and walks to the window. “It looked like Lucifer had bigger and better things in mind for you,” he says, staring out at nothing.

“Doesn’t matter. It wasn’t anything I didn’t deserve.”

“You’re as bad as Jack, wanting to take the blame for everything that happens.”

“The difference is that most of it is my fault.” I screw my eyes shut against the image of Jack’s haunted face and haul myself out of the chair. “You should have left me,” I say, heading for the door.

“Couldn’t. I’m serious about needing your help. Jack’s in trouble, Ianto.” A guilty shadow darkens his features as his eyes drop to his fidgeting hands. “He’s a mess, and I’m not sure I’m not making it worse.”

I turn and look at him, into his tortured eyes. He’s about to cave. Even though he’d never admit it to me, he’s in love with Jack. And he didn’t stop loving him when he was gone and he was with me, which means it has nothing to do with his Sway. But now that Jack wants him…

I bark out a humourless laugh. This is rich. “You pulled me out of Hell to run interference?”

“He belongs with you,” he says, his voice laced with pain. “You’re the only one who understands what’s at stake. He needs your support.”

“He has you,” I smirk, “an honest-to-God angel. What could he possibly want with me?”

“I can’t…” He trails off. “I didn’t think this could happen. That I could…” He stares hard at me. “I’m a Dominion. You know what happens if I lose my wings.”

I can’t have this conversation. “You should have thought of that before you fell in love with him.” I try to phase back to my apartment, but I should have known that wasn’t going to happen from inside John’s living room, what with his Hell-forsaken celestial field. I yank the front door open and storm out onto the porch, needing to get the Hell out of here.

But it’s too much to hope that John will leave me alone. He follows me onto the porch and stares me down. “It was a good act. I really thought you cared about him.”

It’s all I can do not to send a blast of Hellfire at him, but I’m not going to let on how deep his words cut. “Just doing what comes naturally. I am a demon, after all.”

“And a Class A arsehole.”

I start to phase back to my apartment, but I glance up and notice John’s neighbour, standing on his lawn in a bathrobe, staring at us.

“What’d you expect?” I say, bounding off the porch and heading around back.

He follows. “Why won’t you help him?”

“I told you. The best way for me to help him is to leave him the Hell alone.”

He shakes his head and grumbles under his breath.

I glare at him. “Go find Lilith. She won’t quit.”

He glares back and starts to shoot off some reply, but his face turns to a mask of shock—then horror. His eyes fly wide. “Your apartment. Now!” he barks. Then he’s gone.