madbottoms | It's Not Over - Chapter 13

Title: It’s Not Over

Chapter: 13/13 – Let’s Start Over

Genre: AU, Jack/Ennis

Warnings/Rating: PG to NC17.

Summary: Jack and Ennis are reunited following four years apart after being forcibly separated. Can they rebuild and move on? If you’ve been reading you know of their woes but then you also know I am a sucker for happy endings. So if Bob asks, ‘Can we fix it?” You all shout, “Yes we can!”

Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie. Any original characters belong to me.

A/N: OMG!!! It’s finally here after what feels like forever. I think it has been at least six months since I posted the previous chapter I apologise profusely. I am on my knees begging your forgiveness. To all those that have read and commented, thank you so much for your support and ultimately your patience. Thank you also to Sienata and Lolitaray for the offering me an opening to start writing in this fandom. Sadly I don’t see myself writing in this fandom after this. Alas, I have fallen in love with someone else. Captain Jack and Ianto hold my heartstrings at the moment as you will no doubt notice from the lovely eye candy adorning my LJ at present. I only wish I had the time or talent to write in that fandom. It’s amazing how different each fandom can be in styles and themes, amazing if you ask me. Sadly too, my wonderful beta and friend wasn’t able to work on this with me which I think had a lot to do with my ability to get it out there. Jodi became such a big part of it. So I dedicate it to her. Thanks babe. And so after my biggest author’s note ever, here is the final chapter of It’s Not Over.

~~~

Finally after unfolding the letter, Ennis sat unmoving, except for his eyes tracking left to right as he read the words.

Ennis...

How do I describe to you what I feel for you? Sometimes I don’t think there are enough words in the world, or the right words for that matter to really tell you how much you mean to me.

‘I love you’ really doesn’t justify it .They’re just three little words that are never enough. I adore you, you are my world. I feel at times I can’t breathe without you, I’m lost without you, I’m nothing without you. You make me whole, you make me smile, you make me laugh and cry. You make my life so much better…you ‘re home to me.

I’m a little giddy as I write this, Ennis, so please forgive the childish antics but I couldn’t go past writing this.

E is for everything you are to me

N is for never stop loving me

N is for never stop believing in me

I is for I love you more than words can say

S is for Soulmate, because that is what you are to me.

I always saw in you such great strength and you held me up for so long. You made me want to live after having such a shitty life before I met you. And for all the times you put up with my crap, I love you even more.

When I had to go away, I let the darkness take over again and it was so thick that I couldn’t break through and I wouldn’t let anybody else try either. But I know it was you I hurt the most. I pushed you away to protect you from the darkness and pain around me, but in the end I only ended up hurting you more.

It was killing me to do that but I was dying inside anyway. I was selfish and for a long time only saw myself as the one who was in pain. I wronged you, Ennis. I wronged both of us and stole something so precious to both of us.

You were always there for me, trying to help. I hope you understand that it wasn’t intentional . That’s no excuse, I know. I’m sorry, Cowboy. I know those words can’t really mend what I did. It can’t give us back all those lost years. I really don’t expect you to forgive and forget so easily, because sometimes I don’t know if that is what I really need. But hopefully, together, we can lift the heaviness that surrounds us both and help us make a new start.

You are so much stronger than me, Ennis. You really are, and as much as I wanted to hate you for leaving me, I know it was the best thing you could have done and also the hardest thing you have ever had to do. You helped me more than you could ever know.

You are my island, Ennis, my safe harbour, my one true thing and I know that no matter what life throws at me, at us, we can get through it eventually…together

All I wanna do now is show you how I really feel. Let me show you that you can count on me not to run when things get hard. I’m gonna make it right this time around, honey, because it’s not over, my heart says it never will be.

I will love you forever, Ennis del Mar.

Always,

Your Jack

~~~

Silent tears ran down Ennis’ face, chasing after one another like rain down a window as he finished reading. His face was a mask of emotions threatening to overwhelm the shaky equilibrium he’d gained after their earlier confrontation and subsequent purging of emotions.

“I swear, Jack!”

Even without the letter, Ennis had already made his decision. There was no doubt in his mind where he wanted to be, where he needed to be. It had been a bumpy ride and he accepted that there would be a few obstacles along the way, yet none of that mattered as long as they worked together to make it through.

Ennis wiped his face dry as best he could and stood up, a resolute look on his face and an assuredness in his step as he strode toward the copse of trees where the horses were tethered.

“Jack?” As much resolve as Ennis had in what he was doing, his voice still came out a little shaky.

Jack turned at the sound of his name and for a moment was afraid, a little of his uncertainty finding its way to the surface. He swallowed hard and pushed it back strongly and waited expectantly for Ennis to say something. But Ennis just looked at him, really looked at him like he was trying to see into him rather than at him.

“Ennis? Say something will ya!” But Ennis just kept staring. “Come on, Cowboy, you’re freakin’ me out a little.” Jack was afraid, afraid that Ennis had changed his mind after all. “Ennis, please!”

A full minute passed and still nothing. Jack began to fidget under Ennis’ scrutiny. “Ennis, damn it, say something! What’s wrong?”

Ennis smiled then and stepped closer. “Nothing at all, Rodeo. “In fact things couldn’t be better.” Ennis lifted his hand to Jack’s face and caressed it softly, smiling wider as he felt Jack shiver under his touch.

“Ennis...” Jack breathed as tremors of happiness flooded his system. The joy he was witnessing on his lover’s face now told him everything. He had his answer. “Truly, Ennis?”

Ennis answered by leaning in closer and gently bringing their lips together. The kiss was soft, yet full of tender passion, of promise and of forgiveness, even though Ennis didn’t think there was anything to forgive, he did it for Jack.

They pulled slowly apart and gazed at each other lovingly before closing the gap again and resuming their kiss, more forceful than the previous one yet no less loving.

“I love you, Jack,” Ennis finally said, after breaking apart again. “I never stopped and never will. You’re it for me.”

Jack held tightly and buried his face into Ennis’ neck, breathing in his familiar scent, one he had missed for so long. “I love you too, Ennis, so damn much. I really thought I had lost you for good.”

Ennis pulled back and held Jack’s face between his hands. “You’re never gonna lose me, Jack. No denying we have a lot more to talk about, but as long as you want me, I’ll be here.”

“In that case, it looks like you’re stuck with me forever,” Jack promised.

“I guess it’s settled then.”

They sealed the deal with another kiss which soon turned into something more. The gentle kiss turned passionate with both men breathing hard, their bodies begging for more.

“Ennis, please...”

“Please what, Jack? You have to tell me. I don’t want to do anything you don’t want,” Ennis declared.

“I need you to touch me, Cowboy. I need to feel your hands on me, your mouth. I need you to make me yours again,” Jack pleaded.

“You never stopped being mine, Jack. But if that’s what you need, who am I to deny you that?” Ennis inquired playfully, yet with a hint of seriousness.

Ennis knew this was a major step for Jack and respected him enough not to question it, because Jack wouldn’t have suggested it if he wasn’t ready. It was time to exorcise another demon.

“And I never will stop being yours,” Jack swore. “Come on, Cowboy.”

And with that, Ennis let Jack lead him back to the fire where they spread out a blanket and made love as the sun set.

~~~

Later, as they lay looking up at the stars, Jack couldn’t help but wonder at the similarities between now and the last time they’d made promises to each other on this mountain.

“What ya thinking about, Jack?” Ennis asked, sensing Jack’s nostalgic mood.

“Oh, just thinking about the last time we were up when everything changed for us. I never regretted that decision and I reckon I’ll never regret this one either, Cowboy.”

“Yeah,” Ennis murmured.” I swear, Jack. You make me wanna grab hold of you so tight and never let go.”

“Don’t ever let go then, Ennis. Just keep holding me tight and never let go.” Jack felt Ennis hold him tighter and sighed with sleepy happiness as they both drifted off under the stars.

They woke in the same position when the sun rose over the mountain top and bathed the meadow below in its morning rays. It was the start of a new day, a new chapter in their lives.

“Mmm...” Jack hummed as he lay comfortably nestled in Ennis’ arms. “Morning, Cowboy.”

“Mornin’, Rodeo.”

Jack suddenly laughed, startling Ennis. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothin’.” But Jack laughed again and jumped up swiftly, negating his reply.

Ennis shook his head and couldn’t help but join in with Jack’s sudden giddiness. “Care to share the joke?”

“No joke, Ennis. I can’t help it. I’m just so... I don’t know how to explain it. I’m just so happy. God that word doesn’t even cover how I feel. There really are no words I can think of to really express how I feel.”

Ennis grabbed his hat nearby and put it on as he stood up to join Jack. He couldn’t get over the change in him and thanked everything and everyone he could think of who had helped in Jack’s recovery.

His heart soared seeing Jack so happy once again and admitted it was very easy to get caught up in Jack’s joyfulness.

“You look so good, Jack, you know that.” Ennis admired Jack’s topless form as he stood there in his jeans and boots, the sun glistening off his well-formed torso. “Happiness suits you.”

“You think so, honey? Jack stalked playfully around Ennis. “It feels so great, you wouldn’t believe.”

“Oh, I think I have an idea how it feels.” Ennis countered, watching Jack playing his game. But what was he after?

“Yeah, I think you do.” Jack stopped in front of his lover and smirked before kissing teasingly, just enough to arouse but not enough to satisfy and then cheekily knocked Ennis’ hat off his head and ran toward the lake.

“Oh is that how you wanna play it, huh, Rodeo? You watch out now, here I come.” He could hear Jack laughing as he chased after him. It was exhilarating and Ennis ‘yee-hawed’ as he swiftly caught up to Jack, tackling him to the grass. “Got ya now, buddy!”

“But the question is, what are you going to do with me, honey?”

Ennis leered as he pinned Jack firmly to the ground. “Oh I’m sure I could come up with something.”

“I’m sure you could. But I think I would rather do this.” Before Ennis knew what had happened Jack had reversed their positions and smirked down at him. “You look good under me, honey.”

“Anytime you want me, you got me.”

After an exhausting round of making love, the men cleaned themselves in the lake which turned into another impromptu round of sex and some rather inventive water games, prompting a discussion of maybe getting a pool for the farm. As much as they would have loved to continue their playful frolicking, they knew it was time to get moving. Time to get moving together.

They were both so happy, having found each other again. Because that is what it was like, finding each other after being separated for so long. The pain and suffering they had both been through could only make them stronger and it was this strength that would pull them through the hard times that would inevitably cross their paths. They both understood that it wouldn’t be smooth sailing, but as long as they were together they could get through anything.

After breaking camp, they took a final moment overlooking the expanse in front of them, both marvelling at the way it had played a part in their lives in more ways than one. The mountains had sheltered them, loved them and given them the sustenance and silent comfort in times of need.

“Hey, Ennis?”

“Yeah, Jack.”

“Let’s go home.”

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

Current Mood: working
Current Location: Home

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Posted by

taranryan-13.livejournal.com

Thank you for a very lovely ending to a wonderful story. I'm glad to see the boys together again. The letter to Ennis from Jack was very lovely and so much love in there. I'm also glad that this time Jack will face the future with Ennis by his side and not run away from it.

Thanks again

Neyla

Edited on 2009-02-26 11:45 am (UTC)

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It's Not Over - Chapter 13 - Let's Start Over

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