Choices - Chapter 23 Part 1
Oct. 14th, 2011 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madbottomsTitle: Choices
Chapter 23 – Redemption
Pairing(s)/Characters: Jack/Ianto, Owen, Tosh, John, OCs
Rating: NC17 (overall)
Warnings: supernatural themes, violence, m/m pairing
A/N: We are getting very close to the end now. This is the second last chapter which will be split into two parts. This first part is pretty tame compared to most but deals are made and the mysterious saviour at the graduation party is revealed. Enjoy.
Also, check out the artwork I did for the most recent round of the Torchwood Big Bang Challenge to accompany the fic War Games by![[info]](https://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=3){kind=small}
nancybrown.
You can find the art work here - Torchwood Big Bang Art and Torchwood Big Bang Art -2 and you can check out he fic here - War Games Master Post
23 – Redemption
*
JACK
*
They finally let me in to see Ianto this morning, but I can’t bring myself to even look at him. Because after everything, I know what needs to happen, and I’ve spent the last two days agonising over it. I stare blindly out the window at the mist falling outside, making everything look filmy and ghostlike. I know I should say something, but I don’t trust my voice. I pull a deep breath and try to concentrate on what I have to do.
I lean my forehead into the glass. “The doctor didn’t say he found anything…weird in there when he was digging around?”
“No.”
“So I guess that means you’re human now?”
“Guess so.”
I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here. I move toward the door without turning around. “I should probably go.”
“Jack, talk to me, please.” His voice, the desperation in it stops me in my tracks.
I raise my hand to my face, trying to erase the evidence of my tears. I turn slowly to face him, and his expression almost kills me. How can I do this? I’m not strong enough. I drop my eyes to the floor.
He holds out his hand to me and I can’t help myself from walking over and sit in the edge of the bed. At his touch, my heart races but I still don’t look at him.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he says, and I feel tears well up in my eyes again.
“I’m thinking we shouldn’t be together. I’m bad for you.”
He heaves a huge sign. When he speaks, he doesn’t even try to hide the laughter in his voice. “You? You’re bad for me?”
I can’t believe he’s making fun of me—making light of this whole thing. Anger flares deep inside me, and I hear it in my voice. I pull my eyes from the bed and glare at him. “I almost got you killed. You were immortal and I took that away from you. You’d have lived forever if it wasn’t for me.”
“Living forever isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. The piece of forever I’ve lived is plenty.”
“You’re just saying that.” I turn my head away, trying to clear it and get myself together.
He reaches up for my cheek and turns me to face him. “Jack, look at me.” My eyes reluctantly slide to his. “For this feeling,” he taps his free hand to my chest, “I’d have given up anything. I’d say my immortality was a small price to pay, but I don’t feel like I’ve paid anything. I feel like I’ve been paid with the most valuable ting anyone could ever want.” A tear slips over my lashes, and he wipes it away. “You love me. What else could I ask for?”
I feel hot tears on my cheek as I lean down to kiss him and I never want to stop.
“Don’t mind me or anything.” And out of the blue—literally—John is sitting in the chair under the window, looking all angelic.
Ianto glares at him, over my shoulder. “You really need to stop doing that. Didn’t your mother ever tell you it’s rude not to knock?”
But then it hits me. I know what has to happen. I hop up, feeling a thousand times lighter, and walk over to John. I grab his hand and pull him out of the chair. “We need to talk.”
I drag him out the door as Ianto watches with concerned amusement on his face, and we find a bench in the hall. I sit with my elbows on my knees, resting my head in my hands.
The din of the hospital is white noise—generic—and I focus on that to slow my spinning head and stare at the floor between my feet. “You want to tag me for Heaven.”
“Yes,” John says.
“And then they’ll stop coming for me if you do.”
“Eventually.”
“But I have to forgive myself.”
“Yes,”
I pull my head from my hands, surprised at how light it feels. “I’ll cut you a deal,” I say, the anchor lifting from my heart.
*
John leans back on the bench and smiles up at me as I walk back into Ianto’s room. I slide onto the edge of his bed, and his eyes narrow as he laces his fingers in mine. “What was that all about?” He can’t hide the jealousy in his voice.
“Nothing,” I say.
He drops my hand and his eyes search mine.
I run a finger over his cheek, outlining the bandage on his face and he shudders. He sighs and reaches for my face. “You know, when I told you to use your Sway with Gwen, I meant to save yourself, not me.”
I press my cheek in his hand. “I couldn’t think. I just…knew what I wanted.”
He pulls me into a kiss and this time we are able to enjoy each other for a minute or two before there is a knock at the door. He holds me around the back of the neck as I try to pull away and his lips stay pressed to mine for a moment longer. We finish our kiss and then he smiles and yells, ‘Come in!”
The door swings open. John smiles, all proud of himself for knocking. “Heads up!”” he says and with a flick of his wrist, a shiny silver object flies across the room.
Ianto grabs it out of the air before it hits him in the face. “Thanks,” he says.
John props himself on the doorframe. “I’m not your errand boy. Next time you want something, get it yourself.”
I look at the object in Ianto’s hand. It’s a crucifix; larger than the last one and with a pointed end.
“I had this for you…that night.” He smiles wanly. “But I got a little sidetracked before I could give it to you.” He folds the crucifix in my hand.
John moves from the doorway and wanders into the room. “You’re going home tomorrow.”
I pull away from Ianto and look at John. “How do you know?”
He shoots me a sardonic glance and slouches back into the chair under the window.
“John…” Ianto’s face shifts through frustration into anger and finally seems to settle on confused. “How…?” he asks.
“The decision was already made. It was never up to Michael.” His glance shoots to me and his eyes sparkle. “Jack wanted it, and you earned it.” Then he looks back at Ianto, his expression serious. “Plus, we needed your help. And besides, going back to Hell was never an option for you. Not anymore.”
Ianto nods at him. “Thanks.”
He quirks half a smile. “It wasn’t my decision either. You’ve impressed Him.” His eyes shift to the ceiling.
I look from Ianto back to John, confused. “What are you talking about?”
Ianto smiles at me. “You’ve got archangels quaking in their boots.”
That was a very unhelpful reply.
John slides out of the chair and moves to the side of the bed, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Let’s just say there was some dissension in the ranks, but we’ve got it sorted now.” He looks back at Ianto. “How are you feeling?”
Ianto flashes his winning smile and squeezes my hand. “Invincible.”
“Well, just remember that you’re not quite so invincible anymore, and you’re job now is to look after Jack. Reckless abandon isn’t your best strategy.”
Ianto rolls his eyes.
John grins, blinding me. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you’d say, so I recruited some help. He’s fresh out of training—just yesterday, actually—but there’s no one better for the job.”
“Hey Jacky.” The voice is musical, like John’s but different. It’s lighter somehow. I turn, and on the other side of the room there’s a boy, maybe seventeen, about my height, with sandy-blond curls, sky-blue eyes, and the face of…well…an angel. He’s leaning against the wall, hands in his jeans pockets, smiling at me.
All the air is knocked out of me and my legs suddenly go weak. “Gray?” I can barely het the word out. And while we’re not identical, there are similarities between us. He looks just like the image from my head—the way I pictured him he’d look if he was still alive.
He smiles and the glare nearly burns my retinas. “In the flesh—sort of.”
I turn to John. “I don’t…” But I can’t form the rest of the thought.
Gray laughs—a sound like wind chimes. “I’m your guardian angel.” He laughs again. “Who would ever have thunk it when I was always hassling you and stealing your stuff?”
My shaky legs start moving, carrying me across the room. I feel the tears start to slip down my cheeks, but I can’t stop them. I can’t even begin to reconcile the emotions surging through me right now. But as I reach him, it’s guilt that surfaces and I can’t look him in the eye. “Oh my God…Gray. I’m so sorry.”
“I know, Jack. I know. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his shoulder. “But there’s nothing to be sorry for, Jack. You need to let it go.”
“I can’t.” I look up to John, whose eyes bore a hole through me. I can almost feel him rummaging around my head, looking for the answers.
“You have to, or there’s no point in my being here.” He shoots a glance at Ianto.
All my insides are jelly and my head feels full of cotton. I can’t think. But then a thought comes through the fog. “Mom and Dad. Oh my God! They’re gonna go crazy when they see you!”
Matt squeezes my shoulder and pulls me to him again. “No, Jack. They can’t know. Nobody can.”
“Why?”
“It’s just how it is. It’s strictly forbidden for us to show ourselves to anyone who knew us. Especially family.”
I pull my face out of his shoulder. “I knew you.”
He glances at John. “An exception was made due to extenuating circumstances,” he says in his low, official-sounding voice.
I look up and John is shaking head.
I smile, but then I’m almost in tears again. “So, I killed you, but then I’m the only one who gets to see you? How’s that fair?”
“I have no idea what to say to get you to see it wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was my fault.” I say gruffly. “I was there remember. I kicked the ball onto the street in spite and you got hit.”
“You know I can’t lie now, right? It wasn’t your fault. You have to believe that.”
I start to feel dizzy as my throat closes. I let go of him and drop my hands to my knees, trying to suck air into my collapsing lungs.
“Get a nurse,” Ianto says, and I hear him struggling with the IV stand.
But then I smell summer snow and feel John’s arms around me. “Jack, breathe,” he says, his breath cool in my ear.
I shudder and pull tighter into him.
“Slow and easy,” he whispers.
And I find he’s right. If I breathe slowly, I can get some air in. The stars dancing in front of my eyes start to fade.
I straighten up and John lets me go. I stare at Gray, wiping my sweaty face on my sleeve. I can’t believe this. I’ve wanted him back so much, and here he is. I grab him again and hug him so hard, determined never to let him go. “Oh my God.”
He smiles. “It’s going to be okay, Jack. Really.”
His smile is contagious. I sniffle and smile back. “Why do you look seventeen—or how I thought you’d look at seventeen? How come you still don’t look seven?”
His smile widens. “Camouflage. There’ll be times I need to be visible, and a seven-year-old following you around would look pretty stupid, don’t you think?”
“I guess.”
Ianto clears his throat loudly. A goofy grin stretches my face as I pull Gray over to his bed. “So, Gray, this is Ianto. Ianto, Gray.”
Ianto’s brow creases, then his eyes spring wide. “It was you…at the graduation party, with Saxon.”
He looks at Ianto without smiling. “That was my field test.”
“I assume you passed?”
Gray glares at him. “Of course.” He turns to me. “So, I won’t be around all the time,” his eyes narrow and shift to Ianto briefly, “because there’s stuff you guys do that I really don’t want to see. But if you need me, I’ll be there.”
Ianto holds out his hand to Gray. “We’re happy for the back up.” He just looks at Ianto, his expression bordering on repulsion.
All of a sudden, I’m trying to figure out what just happened as Ianto drops his hand.
“Don’t try and be a hero, Ianto,” John says to break the awkward silence. He fixes Ianto a hard gaze. “If you need help, call for it.”
Ianto glowers at him. “Yes, mother.”
He smiles. “Speaking of mothers, you have visitors.”
And just then, there’s a knock at the door. Gray vanishes as it swings opens and it’s a good thing, because Mom and Dad are standing there, McDonald’s bag in hand.
“A godsend,” Ianto mutters, and then grimaces. “Hospital food is an acquired taste.”
no subject
on 2011-10-14 07:10 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-10-14 10:43 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2011-10-15 04:20 am (UTC)And GRAY!!!!!! *more high pitched dolphin noises of glee and happy*
What was the deal between Jack and John?
no subject
on 2011-10-15 05:48 am (UTC)Yes, Gray was a bit of a surprise.
The deal will be revealed inthe last chapter I think.