Opportunities/One door closes...and a window opens (22/24)

[madbottoms]

Title: Opportunities/One door closes...and a window opens (22/24)

Rating: PG

Genre: AU! No aliens but some familiar names may still be used

Characters: Jack, Ianto, Estelle, Tosh

Summary: The holiday season is coming up and Ianto Jones is stuck without a job, with very little money and not too many prospects. So when he is offered a job for two weeks, he readily accepts. But this new job may become complicated when he realises that the man who broke his heart years before is the grandson of his new employer.

A/N: Greetings avid readers. I come bearing a new chapter. But it’s not a happy time in the Cole house, despite the holiday. Ianto and Jack have more words... Is it over for them before they really get a chance to start? Read on to find out and as always enjoy. Blackcat1000 rocks!

*~*

Chapter Twenty Two

 

Jack grabbed his coat from the closet and stormed out of the house. The silence he left behind was thick, the atmosphere so heavy that it was like trying to breathe under water.

 

Ianto came back out of the kitchen and into the living room. Estelle thought it was the saddest she’d ever seen him look.

 

‘Would you like to talk about it dear?’ Estelle asked.

 

As if this was a simple lovers’ spat. Ianto thought. Kiss and make up...

 

‘No.’ He shuddered uncontrollably; chills were coursing up and down his spine. He wanted to follow Jack, to explain, but how could he now that he’d basically told him to keep away from him? ‘No, I don’t want to talk about it Estelle. But thanks. If you’d like me to leave—’

 

‘Nonsense. Where would you go?’ she asked practically. ‘It’s Christmas.’

 

The reminder would have brought him to tears if he hadn’t been in too much pain to cry. How could he and Jack have forgotten the holiday, and how much it meant to Estelle?

 

‘Whatever it is between you and Jack it’s something you need to sort out for yourselves Ianto. I’m not blind, I know there is something going on and I’ve asked to Jack about it.’

 

Ianto visibly paled and felt as if he wanted to throw up. ‘He told you?’ Ianto asked, his voice choking out each syllable.

 

‘Yes, dear, he did.’

 

‘I’m sorry, I have to go. I can’t stay here.’ Ianto was faint and had to get out of that room.

 

‘Oh my dear boy, you have nothing to be sorry about and you most definitely do not have to leave,’ Estelle placated. ‘Please stay, for me, and for yourself.’

 

‘But I’ve ruined your Christmas, Estelle. I’m so sorry.’

 

‘It wouldn’t be the first time cross words have been said on a holiday, or any other day for that matter.’ Estelle’s voice was matter-of-fact. ‘When Jack’s parents were still together—’ She let the sentence hang. ‘So, it’s settled,’ she said in a voice that brokered no argument, ‘you’ll stay. Now, if you could go and help Emma in the kitchen, I’d appreciate it.’ And nothing more was said about it.

 

Ianto nodded looking over his shoulder as he left the room. Estelle was already by the sideboard, sherry bottle in hand. Ianto might have joined her—only it wouldn’t have been nearly strong enough.

 

By the time the mess was cleaned up and the floor washed, Ianto was starting to wonder if Jack was going to come back at all. But just as he was wringing the last of the sticky sauce from the mop the side door banged open and he came into the kitchen, two big white bakery bags in one hand.

 

I’m sorry I let my temper get the better of me, Ianto wanted to say. I shouldn’t have pushed you away, but I’m scared. And he was scared. Scared of being let down again. Scared of loving Jack so much and losing it all again. So instead of taking a chance, he was going to stop it before it went any further.

 

Jack came straight toward him, and the iciness in his eyes chilled Ianto’s blood. ‘We aren’t going to ruin Gran’s Christmas.’ There was a thread of steel in his voice.

 

‘Now’s a fine time for you to consider that.’ Ianto deliberately let a hint a sarcasm creep into his voice. It was better than breaking down in front of him. ‘But I suppose an afterthought is better than nothing. What do you suggest we do?’

 

‘I pretend you don’t exist, you pretend I don’t exist, and we get through it the best we can.’

 

Ianto felt compelled to say, ‘I’ve offered to leave.’

 

‘Yeah that would be just like you, wouldn’t it? No chance of explanations or apologies. You obviously still see me as the bad guy. You’ve made up your mind to keep believing the worst.’

 

‘You told her,’ Ianto stated.

 

‘Yes, I did.’

 

‘You told me she didn’t know.’

 

‘I lied. I wanted you to have a good Christmas and asked Gran not to say anything. But you know what, it doesn’t matter anymore. Whatever I say won’t make any difference. You seem to want to hold onto the hate, to the. I don’t even think it’s about me or what you think I did anymore. You just can’t accept that people care about you. You’re so afraid that everyone will eventually leave you anyway, so you’ve put up this wall to keep us all out.’ Jack said accusingly. He didn’t pull any punches, he told it as he saw it.

 

Ianto wasn’t denying it. But he wasn’t acknowledging it either. In fact, he wasn’t saying anything at all.

 

‘Is that it? Not because you think I’m the villain in this story, but because you’re so damn scared you’ll be left alone to pick up the pieces like when your father left or when your mother died?’

 

Ianto closed his eyes at the memories and told himself to stay strong. He knew that what Jack was saying was. He was afraid. And that included being afraid to tell Jack exactly how he felt.

 

‘And do you know what, Ianto? I never left you. You never even gave me a chance to talk to you before you took off. You never gave me a chance to apologise, to tell you how I felt. And you’re still pushing people who care for you away. I see how you hold Gran at arm’s length, too. It’s like you want to be left alone. Well, I guess you’re going to get your wish. Let me know when you’re ready to listen. Until then, I’m done.’ Jack turned to leave but stopped when Ianto spoke.

 

‘Just for the record,’ Ianto said, trying to hold back the emotion. ‘I’m sorry.’

 

‘Yeah, me too,’ Jack said roughly and then suddenly pulled Ianto into his arms and kissed him, pouring everything into it before pulling back and leaving the room without another word.

 

Ianto let out a choked sob but knew it was for the best. Their past was too jaded. Just get through the rest of the day, he told himself. Just get through this day and you’ll never have to see him again. That would just leave the rest of the week where he was sure memories would continue to haunt him.

 

*~*

 

The winter felt endless, and spring was late, wet and cold. Some days it seemed to Ianto that the sun would never shine again. But the months went by, and he plodded along. He got through his classes and the rest of his shifts at the student union, and eventually he reached a level of acceptance and almost peace. Whatever had happened between him and Jack, and what he thought, no longer mattered.

 

His graduation day had come at last and he had passed with Honours. And thanks to an adamant and extremely generous Estelle, his course fees had been paid in full. The receipts were in the small packet that he hadn’t managed to open on Christmas morning—the one which Estelle was most excited over. When he’d finally opened it and discovered the enormity of it, he had nearly fallen over in shock. Estelle had been unwavering in her insistence that he accept it, and told him that she wanted him to have a fresh start in his new career. She also argued that she had no one else to spend her fortune on and why not spend it on someone who would appreciate it and reap the benefits. Ianto had eventually accepted but only so as to not upset her.

 

The day was perfect—sunny, but not too warm. The scent of roses drifted across the campus from rows of groomed bushes near the quadrangle where the ceremony was taking place, and the long tassle on his mortar-board stirred in the breeze and tickled his ear as he half listened to the speaker.

 

Perhaps, he thought, it had been silly to dress up in a cap and gown and go through the motions of the formal ceremony. He’d be a graduate just the same, whether he walked across the stage or not, and he could have spent the day polishing up his job applications. But Tosh had convinced him to attend his graduation because it was a big milestone in his life and he shouldn’t miss something as important as this.

 

She had offered to come to the ceremony to support him, but Ianto had said that wasn’t necessary, that she didn’t need to take time off work, especially since he wouldn’t be staying for the reception afterwards as he had too much to do.

 

He hadn’t invited Estelle either, preferring to just keep the day simple and not involve anyone unnecessarily. He’d seen Estelle regularly when they met with the director of the youth program, and although she had asked after his welfare, the majority of the conversations had been about the transformation of her home into the group home that would accommodate those who needed help. But even if the agenda had been less crucial, Ianto was reasonably sure Estelle wouldn’t have mentioned Jack. In fact, since Jack had left the house late on Christmas day, Estelle had not brought up his name—even during the following week, when his presence had still been palpable and the scent of his aftershave still lingered in unexpected corners of his grandmother’s house, lurking as if to ambush Ianto, until it finally faded away.

 

Ianto knew that Jack had spoken to his grandmother but not what had been said. Their last fight surely heard by Estelle. Their frigid politeness to each other over the dinner table was mostly ignored by Estelle, however, at times she would stare sadly at Ianto and if Ianto read it correctly, a little colder toward her grandson as if he were the one to blame for this whole mess. But to be fair, Ianto had to shoulder some of the blame.

 

Not long after the apple pie was cut, Jack had left for the airport, and Ianto hadn’t heard from him since. Not that he’d expected to, though for while he’d felt a glimmer of fear...or perhaps even hope that whenever he saw Estelle, or even Tosh, that there would be a message waiting for him, because those two were now the only connections he had to Jack.

 

But he had gradually come to accept that it was over. But then it had never really begun. Ianto wasn’t angry at Jack, he was disappointed in himself if he was being honest. Jack had been right; Ianto was just too scared to let down his guard. He wished it could have ended better, less painful and less public, and that Estelle hadn’t have been caught in the crossfire and been hurt. Estelle had offered to let Ianto remain in her house until it was settled but he had declined and returned to his dreary boarding house room. She hadn’t been offended but had understood Ianto’s need to be away from painful reminders.

 

This was the end of a long and difficult era in his life and it was time for a fresh start. Tosh had been a great source of comfort and friendship for this new beginning. She had been his rock when he needed someone to lean on. Ianto and Tosh saw each other regularly after the holidays and their friendship was solid.

 

Tosh had also been a great source of information. As smart as Ianto was academically, she was very resourceful when he had a sticky puzzle he couldn’t work out or he needed help with a programming problem. Tosh had also insisted he move out of ‘that horrid little boarding house’ as she called it, and move in with her. He had protested but she had won the argument and he now lived with Tosh in her very comfortable two bedroom apartment not far from the University.

 

Toshiko was now working as a fulltime consultant for Torchwood and oversaw the extensive IT program she had installed to bring the organisation and the Hubs into the twenty first century. They never discussed Jack though—something they had agreed on after a night of drinking and emotional confessions. He’d said he was over Jack but they both knew that wasn’t the case. It was a convenient lie that they pretended to believe and Ianto got on with his life, despite the hollow feeling that continued to haunt him.

 

He was grateful for Tosh’s support and loyal friendship. At one point it seemed they might have been something more. They did love each other and that would always be there but their love was more familial than romantic. Tosh was like the sister he had always wanted and the anchor he’d needed to hold him steady.

 

The speaker called his name. Ianto held his head high as he climbed the steps to the temporary stage set up in the centre of the quadrangle and walked across to receive his qualification. There were a few cheers and he saw his fellow workers from the student union in a clump right down front, yelling, and his heart warmed. And if his eyes didn’t deceive him, he saw Tosh standing off to one side watching him with a proud smile and applauding as he collected his testamur. Even though he’d told her it wasn’t necessary for her to come along, she had and he loved her for it.

 

The head of the business college shook his hand, and whispered, ‘Congratulations, Ianto. You have a bright future, I know.’

 

The parade of names was the very end of the ceremony, and as the black-gowned graduates came down the steps at the far end of the stage with their well-earned certificates, they moved off to the side where they could mingle and celebrate.

 

The portable steps felt too narrow and one had to be careful descending them, particularly in the long flowing robes. Going down them was a little awkward, so he was grateful when a strong arm reached out in an offer of support when his hem got snagged on a metal plate.

 

But not as awkward as when he drew in a breath and caught scent of someone he’d thought he would never see again.

 

 

 

Comments

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Cheers. Did he? Hmmmm...

[forsaken2003.livejournal.com]

Didnt he? *Whimpers*

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

You'll find out soon. I promise.

[forsaken2003.livejournal.com]

I better because you are slowly killing me! You dont want to do that do you? lol

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

No, I need you alive to read anything else I put up. :)

[forsaken2003.livejournal.com]

LOL Good cuz I wanna be alive to read more of your stuff! =)

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

:)