Born This Way - Chapter 10

[madbottoms]

Title: Born This Way 10

Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John, Gray, Owen, Toshiko/Tommy, Suzie, OCs

Rating: NC-17

Warnings/Contains: Supernatural themes, character death, drug references, dub-con.

Summary: Sequel to Choices - Ianto Jones was born and raised in Hell, but he isn’t feeling as demonic as usual lately—thanks to Jack Harkness. But you can’t desert Hell without consequences and suddenly Ianto’s and Jack’s happily ever after may not be so happy.
A/N: A few emotions in this one and a heartfelt declaration.

10

*~*

Heaven on Earth

*~*

Gray

It’s taken two days to work up the guts to do this. I’m so nervous. And I feel like a total loser. I’d be sure I was going to puke, except I don’t have a stomach.

I watch Elle slide out of her wagon from the demon’s window.

What am I doing?

Jack nudges my shoulder and shoots me a dubious smile. “So, you ready for your big debut?”

Honestly, I’m not sure. But I smile back. “You bet.”

His eyes sparkle as he laughs and pushes me aside.

“Hey, Elle! Come on up!” he shouts out the window.

The demon sidles over to the window and looks me up and down. “You’re nervous.”

“No, I’m not,” I say, suddenly sure that, stomach or not, I’m going to puke.

He scowls at me. “You’re glowing. Either you’re nervous or you swallowed a fluorescent bulb. Either way, you need to turn it off.”

I realise he’s right. My self-awareness isn’t what it should be. I tone it down and try to keep a brain cell trained on the glow factor.

I stand by the door, waiting for Elle’s knock, determined not to leave here today without officially meeting her.

So, of course, when the knock on the door comes, I totally freak and fade out.

Jack bursts out laughing. “So much for the debut.” Ianto pulls the door open with a smirk, and Elle steps through with a six-pack of beer.

“Hey, Jack, Ianto,” she says through the stringy brown hair dangling in her face.

“What’s the occasion?” Jack asks, pointing at the beer.

She pulls a beer out of the holder and hands it to Jack. “Got a job at the off-licence. Just started today. Pay’s not great, but it should be enough for rent and food, which is all I need.” A devilish smile turns up the corners of her mouth. “I actually swiped a six-pack of beer.” Her smile shifting to a frown, she adds, “Which is highly illegal,  so I’ll probably get fired and then arrested.”

She drops the six-pack on the table as if it’s suddenly poison. “Should have thought this whole celebration thing through a little better, I guess.” She purses her lips thoughtfully as she pulls a beer out and hands it to Ianto before opening one for herself. “I don’t hear any sirens, so hopefully I’m in the clear. I’ll need to erase the security camera tapes when I get to work tomorrow.”

Jack laughs and I can’t stop the smile. This is a side of Elle I wouldn’t have expected.

“Sounds like a plan,” Ianto says.

Elle throws herself into one of Ianto’s kitchen chairs, tips her head back, and takes a long swig of beer. “Ahh…refreshing,” she says.

I’m not surprised she needs to be refreshed. She’s wearing the same loose warm-up pants and baggy gray pullover she was when she moved in last weekend, even though it’s got to be almost thirty degrees outside.

Jack lowers himself into the other kitchen chair. “So, how’re you liking it here?”

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“Are you going to keep working after school starts?” Ianto asks.

“I have to. I need the money.”

“Mmm. That’s rough,” he says.

She shifts uncomfortably in her chair. “Yeah. And I’m on scholarship, so I have to take a full course load.”

Concern creases Jack’s brow. “Isn’t there anyone who can help you out?”

“No. I don’t have any family,” Elle says. A shadow passes over her face.

“None?” Jack says, surprised.

Elle just shakes her head, and her eyes darken and lower to the floor. Jack drops his gaze as well.

I can’t stand the pain in Elle’s eyes. Someone has really hurt her. I ease over to where she slumps in the kitchen chair, face half-hidden behind her hair, and kneel in front of her. I want to touch her so badly. I can’t even explain the feeling, except it pulls at something in my core—like some deep aching need.

I catch myself before the hand I didn’t know I’d raised actually touches her face, and force it back down to my side. Staring into her eyes, I wish that, just this once, I could read minds.

Who are you?

Her eyes clear, almost like someone threw a switch, and she turns to Ianto. “You know, there was a guy checking out your car in the car park when I came in.”

Ianto springs to the window and looks out into the lot. “Perfect.”

“What?” Elle says.

Ianto and Jack exchange a glance. “Nothing,” he says.

Jack and Elle pull themselves out of the chairs and move to the window.

“I should have told him to get lost. Thought he might be a friend or something,” Elle says, peering out.

“Don’t have any friends,” Ianto says.

Jack elbows him. “Except Gray.”

“Gray?” Elle eyes Ianto with an inquisitive raise of her eyebrows.

At the sound of my name coming from Elle’s lips, I feel a rush of excitement, hot and electric, course through me, but it’s mixed with fear. Terror, really. What if she meets me and hates me? I may only get one shot at this.

“Yeah. A friend of Ianto’s.” Jack cracks a smile, and his eyes scan the room. “He was supposed to show up today. Must have blown us off.”

I phase in behind him, fade in a finger, and flick the back of his head. He jumps and kicks his foot back in the direction of my shin, finding air.

Ianto glares through a smirk and Elle looks uneasy.

“Well, I gotta go. Keep the beer.” Her face breaks into a smile, and my breath catches. She’s so beautiful.

Jack picks it up off the table and tries to hand it to her. “Take it.”

“I’ve never seen that beer before in my life, Officer,” Elle says, holding up her hands and backing away from the table.

Jack cracks up. “So, are we still good for shopping tomorrow?”

Elle lowers her lashes. “Yeah.”

“Great. Tosh and Owen are in too. I’ll stop by your place at noon and we can go get that dresser first.”

“Okay,” Elle says as Ianto follows her to the door.

I make a split second decision. I need to talk to her to get past whatever my obsession is. If I slip into the hall behind her and fade in…she’ll think I’ve just shown up.

But when Ianto opens the door for Elle and she passes through, his hand reaches up and brushes along her ribs— a caress. She looks up at him with a hint of a smile and bites her lower lip. “So, I’ll see you later.”

His eyebrows shoot up and he glances back at Jack, who’s putting the beer in the fridge, oblivious. “Yeah, later,” he says, and smiles.

Suddenly I’m livid. I can’t decide whether to smite him right on the spot, or follow Elle out the door, as planned. I opt for the second, knowing smiting should be done in private, and slide through the door just ahead of her.

Completely abandoning my plan, I follow her up the hall to her door and study her face as she twists her key in the locks. That sadness is back in her eyes. She sighs and pushes through her door. I almost follow her, but I stop myself. As much as I want to know what’s going on, I can’t invade her privacy. It wouldn’t be right.

I lean back into the wall, slide to a sitting position on the floor, my head in my hands, and try to get a grip on my whirling emotions.

What’s clearly at the forefront is hate. I’m shaking with it. I hate Ianto—because of Jack. He loves him and trusts him. But obviously, that trust is misplaced. Because, just for a second…the way Elle looked at him…

In a bolt of irony, it strikes me that this is what I’ve been waiting for. I need Jack to see the demon for what he is. If he’s lusting after another, that’s a start. But it’d kill Jack if he messed around with Elle.

And it might kill me too.

Because, as I think of Elle, other emotions swirl to the lead.

Jealousy. And lust. I can’t deny it, as much as I’d like to: I want her.

A mirthless chuckle works its way up from my chest. Not sounding too angelic at the moment, am I?

But…Elle. God, Elle. If I could just talk to her…touch her… I need to know what’s going on between them.

I stand and pace the hall for a long time, working to get my jumbled emotions under control. Finally, I slip through Ianto’s wall.

But the first thing that catches my eye—a flash of skin in the tangled sheets—feels like a punch to my gut. I push back into the hall and sit with my head in my hands again, forcing myself not to storm in there and pull him off Jack. It’s too late. I got distracted and forgot where the real danger was.

Every time they’ve gotten almost to that point again, I’ve been able to run interference. But I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that forever.

How many more ways can I screw up my job because of my obsession over Elle?

 

 

*~*

Jack

Most of our clothes are on the floor and we move together on Ianto’s big black bed to the rhythm of music playing softly from the stereo. A tiny part of me wishes he could still shift his essence into me the way he used to when he was a demon. My head swims at the memory of how it felt to have him that close. There’s something surreal about being possessed by the essence of the guy you’re crazy in love with—even if he is a demon.

But feeling his skin against mine, being this close—and the only place I want to be—there’s something else I want. Something he’s been reluctant to do again since the first time. But he’s not a demon anymore, he’s tagged for Heaven. I want him again, and there’s nothing stopping us.

Ianto kisses my ear and whispers, “Are you okay?” I smile up at him. “Better.”

“You looked a million miles away.”

“Never. I’m right here.” I squeeze him tighter. “I love you.”

One corner of his perfect mouth curves up. “I know.”

He shifts over me on his elbows and leans in for a kiss when it hits me, and I push him back. “Say it.”

“What?”

“You know.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “I don’t.”

“You’ve never said you love me.”

He scowls down at me. “Don’t be absurd.” Wrong answer.

I feel heat creep up my neck and into my face as embarrassment and anger vie for control. I pull back harder, pressing into the pillows to make room between us. “Why won’t you say it?”

“Jack, they’re just words.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach as the truth hits me like a slap across the face. How could I be so stupid? I shove him off me and sit. “You know what? Just forget it,” I say, yanking on my jeans. “Jack—”

I hold up my hand and he stops. My shirt is on and I’m halfway to the door before he follows me. He tries to slow me with a hand on my shoulder, and I think about flipping him by it, but I need to get out of here before I start yelling at him. I jerk away and jog for the door. I reach the door just ahead of him, but all the goddamn deadbolts take too long and he catches me.

“Jack, listen to me.” His hands are planted on the door, one on either side of my head, and I can feel his hot breath in my ear.

A little growl catches in my throat just before it escapes. “I…it’s okay,” I say, fumbling with the locks. “But I gotta get to work.”

He presses into me from behind and snakes his arms around my waist. I hate that my heart sputters at the feel of him there. And I hate even more that I can’t stop the tears that leak over my lashes.

“I’ve never said it,” he says, his voice low in my ear, “because it’s not enough…those words.”

I flip the last deadbolt and reach for the door handle before I process what he said. I stop and press my forehead into the door, trying to think, to breathe.

He spins me, and his hand cups my face as he gazes down into my eyes. “I love you.” His eyes glisten. “I love you with everything that I am.”

His voice breaks on the last word and he closes his eyes and draws a deep breath. His lips press into a tight line before he turns away from me. He walks to the kitchen table, staggering on the last step, and leans his hands on the table for support. My heart pounds, trying to escape my chest, as he hangs his head between his shoulders and just stands there.

“I love you so damn much, it hurts,” he finally says, so low, I can barely hear him.

I’m still leaning against the door, totally frozen in place. I try to open my mouth to say something, but nothing wants to function. My brain can’t find words, and even if it could, my mouth wouldn’t form them.

He pushes off the table, drags the back of his hand across his face, and turns slowly toward me, his features pulled tight as he struggles for control. He tips his head back, closing his eyes, and draws a shaky breath.

“After seven thousand years, I thought I knew all there was to know.” He hesitates, then lowers his gaze and stares at me with tortured eyes for several heartbeats. “I didn’t know this was possible.” He brings a fist to his heart and holds it there. “I never imagined needing anything…anyone…so completely. I…” He trails off and drops his head once more.

Before I know they’ve done it, my legs have me across the room and in his arms. I can feel the beat of his heart, and it’s as fast as mine, as he folds me into his embrace.

“You’re my life, Jack,” he whispers into my hair. “You’re everything.” He kisses me, and the next thing I know, my clothes are off and we’re back on the bed. He kisses me deeper, and even though I know it’s not possible anymore, I can almost feel his soul swirling with mine. And in his soul, I can feel it: love so intense that it makes me cry.

He pulls back and wipes my tears away with trembling fingers, the question clear in his eyes. I answer with a kiss, sending him all the love I have. We sink into the sheets, into each other, and there’s nothing else. Just him and me. Our souls entwine and once again Ianto and I are dancing to our own music.

 

 

Comments

[reddevilpoes]

Ow please let there be NO way Gray can break this up...not even for a short period...

[madbottoms]

Yeah, it's pretty special. it would be a shmae to come between them.

[spud1963.livejournal.com]

Ohh that was soooo heartfelt and so beautiful how Ianto opened up to Jack, it brought me to tears. And this is what Gray wants to detroy because of his own Jealousy? If he cannot see the love or feel Ianto's love for his brother then he really isn't a very good angel.. Though i do feel for him and the way he is trying to control his emotions lol. So looking forward to the next chapter :)

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

That's how it was meant to be felt. Glad it made you feel like that. It does make it more dramatic with Gray feeling the way he does too.

Cheers

[hatorl (from livejournal.com)]

I love it! A beautiful love declaration, I don't have words to describe how much I like it, you let me speechless.

Please, please Gray don't destroy that beautiful love!!
And I don't like Elle right now!

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Excellent! It was meant to evoke many feeling, this one is good enough. We'll see how far Gray gets with them... and with Elle.

[sammydragoncat]

Loved the update

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Cheers, mate!

[pharlap1.livejournal.com]

love the update

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Cheers!

[lilferret]

*sniffles* Broke my heart for a minute, suddenly thinking Ianto didn't love jack.

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Of course he loves him, he just didn't know how to put it into the right words. Like he said, he's been a demon for 7000 years and emotions like this didn't really come into play.

[bluelilacs.livejournal.com]

For about thirty seconds there I was glad Elle was there, just to distract Gray before he could try to do more damage. I'm glad he was too late getting back. Jack and Ianto really need some quality time together without him purposely interrupting them.

It's pretty ironic that Gray, born human and having experienced human emotion, seems to be as bowled over by them as Ianto, who's never had them before. It's just as ironic that he can't relate to or understand Jack's feelings for Ianto. You'd think he was the one who'd never been human.

Ianto finally managing to tell Jack how he felt was such a beautiful moment for them. I was a bit worried Jack would get out the door before Ianto could stop him. Thank God for multiple deadbolts.

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Ian bgo with the quality time, but that may be few and far between for a bit.

Yes, Gray was born human but his life was cut short when he was just 7, so the hormones hadn't quite kicked in yet. I think he just wasn't ready to take on his charge.

And yes, they were finally able to have a nice moment, even if it might just be a fleeting one in the middle of the turmoil.