Born This Way - Chapter 34
Sep. 11th, 2012 07:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madbottomsTitle: Born This Way 34
Characters/Pairings: Jack/Ianto, John, Gray, Owen, Toshiko/Tommy, Suzie, OCs
Rating: NC-17
Warnings/Contains: Supernatural themes, character death, drug references.
Summary: Sequel to Choices - Ianto Jones was born and raised in Hell, but he isn’t feeling as demonic as usual lately—thanks to Jack Harkness. But you can’t desert Hell without consequences and suddenly Ianto’s and Jack’s happily ever after may not be so happy.
Notes l: It seems like a lot happens but nothing is sorted in this part. We find out a little of what Suzie has up her sleeve and an unwanted visitor shows up again.
34
*~*
End of Days
*~*
Ianto
“Are you okay?” The voice and the hand on my arm startle me as I lean against the cold tile wall of the hospital. I’ve been standing here awhile, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door to room 322.
Her name is Robin.
I pull my forehead off the wall and try to smile at the nurse. “I’m fine.”
She spares me one last concerned glance and makes her way up the hall. I breathe deep and lift my hand to knock, but before I can, the door swings open and she steps out into the hall in a fluttering green hospital gown.
She nearly bumps into me before I can get myself out of the way.
“Oh. Sorry,” she says. Her eyes are the same green, but they seem duller without Lilith to fuel them.
But it’s me who’s sorry. I drop my eyes and open my dry mouth, but I can’t find words, so I close it again. I lift my eyes and they connect with hers. My heart is in my throat.
She looks up at me and her brow creases.
“Sorry,” I say. It’s the closest thing to an apology I can manage. I spin and jog down the corridor to the stairs, which I take two at a time. When I reach my car, I can’t breathe. I lean against the bumper, sucking air.
She doesn’t remember. It was clear in her eyes. She had no idea who I was. That should be some comfort, but it doesn’t change what happened.
Because living without Jack is like trying to live without oxygen.
It was faster this time. The change took only a few weeks. And I felt it. I knew he was changing me. Jack said he’d try not to want me. Apparently he didn’t succeed, because it’s hard to argue with my humanity. The knowledge that he wants me sends a thrill through me at the same time as the thought of being with him again terrifies me.
I push off the Shelby and open the door. Then I slam it closed with a growl. Because I want to go over there. And if I get in this car, that’s where I’m going to end up. I pace through the car park trying to clear my head and talk some sense into myself. Finally I slide into my car and head to my apartment.
As I pull into a spot near my building, I realise that I don’t even remember the drive, because my thoughts are totally absorbed with Jack. I sit here for ages, pinching my forehead, where the headache starts to rage out of control. And just as I’m about to cave and start my car, Jack’s Mustang squeals to a stop behind me, blocking me in.
He jumps out of the car and storms over to where I’m parked. From the look on his face, maybe I was mistaken about him wanting me.
He rips my door open and hauls me out by my arm. “Where the hell are you going? Running away again?”
I don’t shake free of his grasp, because the feel of his hand on my skin…“I was—”
“You’re such a coward, you know that? I can’t figure out how you survived in Hell all this time.”
“Jack—”
He lets go of my arm and shoves me. “I don’t even know why I care. Just go, you stupid—”
I grab his arms and spin him against the car, meaning to tell him to get in his car and get the Hell away from me. Meaning to say something so cruel that he’ll never want to come back. But instead, I find myself pressing my lips into his. My head screams at me to stop at the same time my heart screams to never let him go. He tries to push me away at first, but then he melts into me, kissing me back. Finally, I get myself under control and pull away. He just stares up at me for a long second. A hot lump forms in the back of my throat as a tear courses a crooked path down his cheek. I back away a step, unsure what to say.
That seems to break his trance. He gazes up at me with eyes that look as scared as I feel, then scrubs the tear away with the back of his arm, pulls a deep breath, and turns for his car. But just as he reaches it, I catch a subtle waft of brimstone. I dive for Jack and push him through the door, slamming it closed. When I turn, Suzie is standing there, grinning at me.
“Whoa! What was that all about?”
I blow out a shaky breath. “For the love of all things unholy, Suzie. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”
“Admit it. He’s the one who changed you.” The grin is gone from her face and she stares past me at Jack with hungry eyes.
I bang on his door with my palm. “Go, Jack!” He hesitates—a second too long.
In a flash, she has me pinned against Jack’s car. “Make him do it to me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Before I can react, her fist smashes into my face and I hear Jack scream. Then she grins and swipes her finger across the blood seeping from my split lip. “This. Make him do this,” she says, holding up her bloody finger.
“He can’t make you mortal, Suzie.”
She stands back and looks at me, wiping her finger on the front of my shirt, then her gaze shifts to Jack. “I wanted to apologise for being so rude last time we met. It’s my pleasure to see you again.” She reaches past me, holding her hand out to him.
I push away from the car and shove her back. “No, Jack! Go!”
But he’s never listened to me before, and he doesn’t start now. Instead, he smiles and pulls himself out of the car. “It’s okay,” he says, reaching for her hand.
And as their hands meet, in one deft motion he twists her arm, putting her face first onto the ground, her arm in a lock and his knee in her back.
“I can’t make you human,” he says to the back of her head.
“You made Lucifer human,” she groans into the pavement.
“Not on purpose.”
She twists her head to the side. “Fine. Call your Pit Bull off, Lucifer.”
Even though this really isn’t funny, I can’t help the chuckle. “He’s never answered to me. You’re on your own.”
“Son of Satan!” She squirms under him. Her fist starts glowing and she grimaces, trying to turn it in the right direction.
I chuckle again. “Yeah, good luck with that.” I stoop down next to her. “What’s this really about?”
She tugs once more against Jack’s grasp, then slumps into the pavement. “Let me up.”
“Not until you tell us what’s going on.”
“There’s an uprising.”
At first I can’t process what she’s said. “An uprising,” I repeat.
“What you did…at the Diktat. It made some of us think. No one’s ever stood up to Him before. It’s never been possible.”
She’s right. Up until I did it, I never would have thought it possible. His command always carried physical weight. My body bent to His will without question. Something programmed into us at the time of our creation.
“We think it’s because you were human. Maybe when you turned back, it short-circuited something.”
“So you think if you were human, even for a little while…”
“We wouldn’t have to obey Him,” she finishes.
“Jack can’t do that, Suzie. There’s nothing we can do to help you.” Though, if there were, I’d seriously consider it. An uprising in Hell…
Jack shoots me a look and I nod. He lets go of her arm and pulls his knee out of her back.
But the second she’s off the ground, her glowing fist is pointed into Jack’s face. “Do it! Make me human!”
He glares at me, but behind that look, he’s already plotting how to take her down again.
“For the sin of Satan, Suzie, what are you trying to accomplish?”
Panic flashes in her eyes as they flit to me and back to Jack again. “Things are out of control, Lucifer. You’ve been gone. You don’t know.”
“You’re demons. Nothing is below you. How bad can it be?”
She shifts her eyes from Jack to me. “Bad. There are public quarterings, the Pit is full to overflowing. And He expects my crew to enforce His insanity. He’s brought in Mages and Necromancers as reinforcements.” She looks exasperated. “Mages. It’s bad.”
I grimace against the memory of my own recent run-in with Lucifer’s Mages.
Jack takes advantage of her distraction, kicking out with his leg, fast as lightning, and breaking her right arm.
She cries out and pulls it to her chest. “Who the Hell are you?” she groans through clenched teeth, glaring at Jack with glowing eyes.
He glares back, looking, if possible, even more menacing than Suzie. “Someone you don’t want to mess with.”
She turns wide eyes on me. “Unholy Hell, forget turning us human. We just need him to kick the shit out of King Lucifer.”
Jack winces. It’s obvious the memory of his last encounter with Lucifer still haunts him.
“You have my support, but I don’t think there’s much I can do. Maybe John—”
“You’ve got to be joking. You’re in with John? What next—you gonna sprout wings? Are you turning into a feather-face?”
“I thought you wanted help. But if you’re going to be picky about where it comes from…”
“Would he seriously do it?”
“Unrest in the Underworld works to everyone’s advantage.” I glance at Jack. Him, most of all.
She backs off, still holding her arm, though it’s already straightening as it heals. “See what you can do.” She fades out, leaving Jack and me standing alone in the parking lot.
The awkwardness between us is instantly back. I look at him, and I can’t keep the concern out of my voice. “Are you okay?”
He nods. “Let’s go talk to John.”
*~*
Jack
We ride in silence to John’s. I really have no clue what to say. My head was full of stuff when I was driving to Ianto’s. Mostly around ripping him a new one for …everything. But I was also ready to tell him that I need him to come back. And that I love him.
When John told me Ianto was back, the wave of emotion nearly drowned me. It was everything all at once. There was plenty of rage. He cheated on me, then left me—twice. But there was also joy and love. The biggest and hardest to accept was hope.
So, when I saw him leaving again…I freaked. And all those things I wanted to say flew out the window.
My heart throbs painfully in my chest, and the ache spreads from there through my whole body. I chance a sidelong glance at him as he drives. It’s not too late. I could still tell him.
I draw a deep breath and open my mouth, but then close it again. Why can’t I say the words?
I love you. It’s not hard. Why can’t I say it? He kissed me. He loves me too…right?
I just don’t know. I turn to look at him, trying to read him. He stares straight ahead, his expression cold and hard.
By the time we get to John’s, I’m a mess. I slide out of the car and head up the walk without waiting. John opens the front door and I bound up the stairs to stand next to him. He loops an arm over my shoulders without even thinking.
Ianto pauses at the porch when he sees us, closing his eyes for a second. But then his face clears and he continues up the stairs. “John,” he says with a nod. He brushes past us into the family room and drops into the chair under the window. John and I follow behind him and sit together on the couch.
John leans into me. “So, what’s up?”
Ianto’s eyes flick to me, and his jaw clenches; then he takes a deep breath. “Something big is going down in Hell. Suzie is asking for help.”
“And you think I should give it to her.”
Ianto shrugs. “It couldn’t hurt.”
“Don’t be so sure. You were one of them. You know they can’t be trusted.”
“I believe she was sincere.”
“For the moment, I’m sure she was.” John scrutinises Ianto. “But once she has what she wants…”
“I still think we should find a way to support her and her group.” Ianto’s eyes lock on me. “An uprising against Lucifer could only work to our advantage.”
John shakes his head. “I’ll think about it. But, right now, we have other things to deal with. Jack is leaving tomorrow.”
I push away from him. “I’m what? What the hell are you talking about?”
“We need to get you somewhere safe. I was wrong to think Lucifer would stop coming for you after you were tagged. He won’t.”
“Where am I going?”
“As far as your family knows, you’ll be in London. You were leaving next week anyway.”
I just stare at him, unsure of what to say. He turns to Ianto. “You’re going too.”
Ianto opens his mouth to protest, but I cut him off, suddenly furious that I seem to have no control over my life. “What if I don’t want to go?”
Ianto’s gaze drops to the floor and I feel John’s arm pull me closer.
“I know this is hard, Jack.” The compassion in John’s voice feeds my barely contained frustration.
I spring off the couch. “I need to think,” I say on my way out the door. When I hit the porch, I take off at a run. I run harder when I hear the pounding of footsteps on the pavement behind me. I hit the park at the end of the street at a sprint and cut through the trees next to the play structure—where I trip on a tree root and skid face first into the dirt in a sprawling tumble. My lungs burn and I can’t catch my breath. Before I can pull myself up, Ianto is standing over me with his hand out.
I ignore his hand. “I don’t need you,” I say, pulling myself from the dirt and brushing off my pants.
“I know.”
Don’t look at him, I tell myself. But I can’t help it. And when I do, his black eyes seem to go on forever, right to his core, bearing his soul. I feel my emotions bubbling up to boiling point again before I can get myself back under control. “I don’t want you,” I say, my soul screaming at the lies. But this is what he wants. I won’t force him into loving me or staying with me no matter how much I want it or how much it hurts to not be with him.
He only nods.
I turn and walk deeper into the park. He comes up beside me, matching my stride, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground. Neither of us says anything.
The dusk deepens in the shade of the trees, so we don’t notice her till we’re nearly on top of her. Ianto grabs my arm and pulls me behind him.
I jerk my arm away and step out from behind him in time to see her glide out of the copse of trees just a few feet away.
“Lisa,” I whisper.
“Jack,” she says, her voice hypnotic, and with that one word, I feel overwhelming desire for her.
Ianto backs up a few steps, keeping between us. “Jack, just listen to my voice. Don’t look at her. Just listen to me.”
He says it over and over as we back slowly toward the play structure, but I can’t do it. I can’t rip my eyes away from her as she keeps pace with us.
But when she pulls out the knife, still covered in Owen’s blood, I snap. I rip my arm away from Ianto’s grasp and charge at her. Ianto lunges after me, but he’s not quick enough. Lisa holds the knife out for me.
In that instant, I want her more than I’ve ever wanted anything, but I also want her dead. The fleeting image of the knife plunging into her chest sends a shuddering thrill through my entire body. I dive for the knife, needing to touch her while I watch the life run out of her onto the ground. But just as I reach her, I’m tackled to the ground at her feet.
John holds me pinned to the dirt. “Jack, stop!”
As my head starts to clear, my heart starts to scream. I lose sight of them as John sprints up the street. “No!” I scream, then press my face into John. “No, Ianto. Please,” I whisper.
John puts me on my feet at the house and pushes me through the door. “Now!” he says, fixing me in a hard gaze. “You’re leaving now.”
My hands are on my shaky knees as I struggle to get air through my collapsing throat. “Now? What about Ianto?” I gasp.
“He’s on his own, Jack. My priority is you.”
“She’ll take him,” John says flatly, standing over me.
“No!” It starts in my chest, an aching need, and spreads till every cell in me vibrates with it. Come back to me! my heart screams, over and over.
I spring off the floor and almost make the door before John blocks my exit. He stands between me and the door and reaches his hand out for my shoulder. I yank away from him when I feel his summer snow start to dull my panic.
“Stop it! I have to help him.”
His eyes are full of compassion and pain as he simply says, “No.”
Behind him, there’s a knock—or really more of a pound—on the door. I jump for the handle and John pushes me back, holding a hand to the door. A moment later, he pulls it open. My heart nearly explodes in relief when I see Ianto standing on the porch. I lunge for the door again, but John holds me back with an arm as he scrutinises Ianto. Finally, he lets him come through. Ianto’s holding his left arm across his chest with his right hand, and there’s blood on the front of his T-shirt. And I’m not totally sure it’s all his.
I stare at him, unable to breathe, as he steps through the door and lowers himself into the chair under the window without a word, but his eyes don’t leave me.
I go to him and kneel, trying to figure out where the blood is coming from. He drops his arms, and I gasp at the bleeding gash across the inside of his left forearm.
Pressing Ianto’s arm back into his chest, I look up at John, who disappears into the bathroom and comes out with a damp cloth and bandaging supplies.
I look at John, but I’m afraid to ask either of them what’s going on.
John throws Ianto’s shirt into the bin and stands in the kitchen door. “We need to get you out of here. It’s not safe. Lucifer isn’t going to stop.”
I sink into the couch, and a sense of bitter relief swirls inside me. Because there’s one thing that’s become clear in the last few weeks. “He won’t want me anymore when He figures out that I don’t really have Sway. Not Sway that matters, anyway.”
John’s smile is sad. “If it were only that easy to convince Him. Someday your Sway might be strong enough.”
Anger swirls with the relief, and I lash out. “I don’t have Sway! I can’t change anything!”
He slides onto the couch next to me and leans back, contemplating that. His eyes shift to Ianto. “I think the biggest proof of your Sway is sitting right over there. You’ve turned him mortal—twice.”
I glance at Ianto, who’s sitting still as stone, hands on knees and face flat, staring at me.
I shake my head. “I don’t know how he’s doing it, but it’s not me.”
“Jack—”
“I can’t change shit!” I scream in frustration. “Isn’t that obvious? Owen is dead!”
John examines his hands, and his voice is low, meant just for me, as he says, “I know you have Sway, Jack. I’ve felt it.”
And then, on top of everything else, guilt swirls into my emotional jumble when I think of all the times I’ve used John. I explode off the couch and stand in the window with my aching forehead against the cool glass. I feel John move in behind me.
“When your Sway has worked—on Ianto and me—what’s been different?” His voice is soft and soothing in my ear.
I sag into the window. “It’s not me. Why won’t you believe me?”
He turns me gently to face him and his eyes are deep, full of compassion. “What’s been different?” he repeats.
I shake my head, but he catches my chin and lifts it. I gaze up into his eyes as I feel his peace and love begin to take hold. I raise my hand and lay it on his chest as if I can feel his heartbeat. And, because I want to, I do—even though he doesn’t have a heart.
The realisation hits me all at once. “It worked when I wanted something with my heart.”
He brushes his fingers across my forehead, and then carding them through my hair. “So, when you get this out of the way,” he leans in and kisses my forehead as his fingers drop to my chest, “and let this do its job, your Sway is more powerful.”
I lean my cheek against him, listening to the heart he doesn’t have beat in his chest. “It’s love,” I finally say. “My Sway is love.” The thing I never even believed in till Ianto and John came along.
“I think it’s more than that…that you’re more than that.” His voice is soft, but it vibrates through his chest.
I pull away. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not sure yet, but…I don’t know. It’s just a feeling.”
“Please don’t say that. I’m pretty sure I can’t handle anything else.” My eyes slide to Ianto, who sits with his forehead in his good hand. I walk over and kneel down in front of him again, taking his other hand in mine. He lifts his eyes to mine and locks me in his haunted gaze. I breathe deep, pull all the armour off my heart, and without a word, I let it say what it’s been dying to say.
Ianto’s eyes seem to focus on me then. And I know he hears me, because they well up and he pulls his gaze away from mine, along with his hand.
“Ianto…? What happened?”
He stares at the bandage on his arm, picking at the tape, but doesn’t answer.
John’s hand is on my shoulder. “Jack, we need to get you out of here.”
My heavy heart makes pulling myself to my feet difficult. I try to clear my head, remember the bigger picture. We’re not safe here.
John guides me to the door with a hand on my back. “But, if they know we’re going to London?” I say.
“You’re not going to London.” He grabs my hand and spirits me quickly through the door and into his car. I turn to see Ianto following close behind, dark eyes darting.
“Then where are we going?” I shudder when I realise that when I said we, I meant all of us—Ianto too. What if he won’t come? He glides into the backseat, still looking haunted as I fight tears.
“I can’t tell you yet. No one can know. Your family—everyone—has to truly believe you’re in London.”
*~*
Music plays, filling the room and drowning out my thoughts as I shove clothes into my bag. I pull my iPod off the speakers and shove them both into the bag before zipping it shut.
John’s propped on my doorframe, looking anything but calm. “You ready?”
“I guess.” I take a last survey of my room, then glance at Ianto, standing vigil at my window. He hasn’t said a word since Lisa. I have to know what happened, but I can’t bring myself to ask again. I hesitate a second longer before asking instead, “You coming?”
My heart pounds, but I hold my breath as he turns from the window and locks me in his dark gaze.
And makes me wait forever for his answer.
*~*
Notes 2: Well my lovelies, this is the last full chapter with a short epilogue to follow. I hear screams and curses and shouts that it can’t possibly be over. Okay, it’s not. It’s just a short break and then a third instalment to the series will be posted following my Reel Torchwood entry.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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on 2012-09-11 06:18 pm (UTC)But please, don't cliff us...please...pretty please with choclate sprinkles on top????
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on 2012-09-11 09:20 pm (UTC)I promise there is more - a third instalment. But as I said there is an epilogue, but it may leave you hanging a little.....
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on 2012-09-10 11:32 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 07:04 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 09:21 pm (UTC)If I promise an eventual happy ending, will that suffice for now?
Epilogue up next.
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on 2012-09-11 11:18 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-12 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 07:05 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-11 03:11 am (UTC)I will send you the bill of my psychoanalyst...
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on 2012-09-11 07:05 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-12 04:45 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-12 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-13 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
on 2012-09-13 06:56 am (UTC)