It's Not Over - Chapter 5a - Fences

[madbottoms]

 

Title: It’s Not over

Chapter: 5/? –  Fences

Genre: AU, Jack/Ennis

Warnings/Rating: PG to NC17.

Summary: Jack and Ennis are reunited following fours years apart after being forcibly separated. Can they rebuild and move on?

Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis belong to Annie. Any original characters I claim as my own.

A/N: In this chapter we see a little progress, but you should know me by now - I like bumps in the road. J Thanks as always to Jodi for the beta. : Any remaining ‘oops’ are mine. This chapter is for Torry who always gives me more ideas. Thanks hon.

 

 
~~~

 

Ennis was getting tired of Jack’s apathetic attitude, both toward him and their business. Jack hardly spent any time at home and when he did, he was either off riding Sunny or breaking his back with manual labour as if he were just some hired hand.

 

Ennis didn’t really know what Jack did when he was away from the farm, but he knew it had something to do with his friend Rufus. From what Jack had deigned to tell him; he knew Rufus was still in jail, yet he would visit his family out of some sense of loyalty. Ennis wished Jack would show a little more toward him.

 

He was becoming more agitated with Jack's indifference and he really didn’t know how much more he could take. He was trying to show his support and trying to help, but all his efforts to be supportive and loving were just not getting him anywhere. It was time to say something and he got his chance one evening when Jack returned from yet another afternoon away from his responsibilities.

 

“Where ya been, Jack?”

 

“In town.”

 

“With ‘them’?”

 

“If by ‘them’ you mean Ellen and her kids, then yes. Is that a problem?”

 

“Yes, it’s a fuckin problem! You spend more time with them than ya do working, or with me.” Ennis complained. “Who the fuck do they think they are?”

 

“Don't go there! This ain’t their fault, so you shut up about them.”

 

“Then whose fault is it, Jack?”

 

“They’re my family, well as close to one as I have. I like spending time with them.”

 

That cut Ennis deep. He felt like a knife had been plunged into his back, “I’m your family, Jack, a fact that you’ve conveniently forgotten. But I guess I’ve been replaced, hey?”

 

“What?! No!”

 

“Well, Jack, what do you expect me to say? I’m hurtin’ here. I've built us a life and now that we finally have the chance to have it all, you’re not here to help me live it.”

 

“I’m sorry, Ennis. I am trying.” Jack purported weakly. He knew it was a lie and so did Ennis. Who was he kidding? “Look, Ennis, what do you want me to do? How can I make things better?”

 

“I want you to take an interest in what’s goin’ on at home - your real home! I want you to start owning your own business and not just acting like some damn farmhand. This place is half yours, Jack. And I want ya to start spending more time with me, and I don't mean jus' sharing a hurried meal or passing by each other in the stables. I mean bein' together, jus' the two of us. I miss ya, Rodeo.” Ennis admitted sadly.

 

“I miss ya, too, Cowboy,” Jack confessed softly. “I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just…I just don’t know.”

 

“Can ya just try a little harder, please? For us, and for... me?”

 

Jack looked into the earnest face of his lover and saw frustration reflected back at him. There was love there, definitely, but a sadness, too. Jack had seen it creeping its way into Ennis and he knew it was because of him. As hard as it had been for him, he knew it must have been almost as hard for Ennis. He hated himself for making his partner feel this way. Adjusting was harder than Jack realised it would be and coming back to something so different had made it even more difficult. And as much as he professed to trying, he wasn’t and they both knew it.

 

As proud as he was of Ennis, he was also extremely, yet illogically jealous of the success Ennis had gained. As much as their dream had come to exist, his had been shattered. He'd wanted to be there to experience it, too. It all came down to Jack feeling as if he really belonged. Was he needed? Was there anything left for him to contribute? By looking into the face of his partner, he realised that Ennis believed he could.

 

Truth was, though, Jack felt intimidated. He was still letting fear control him, and letting that fear dictate how he lived. By distancing himself from those around him, he'd felt a sense of self-preservation. It didn’t always work and he had the scars to prove it and those scars still had a hold on him.

 

There was an expression of such naked need on Ennis' face and Jack felt like crying with the thought that he had made him have to practically beg for something and all he'd really wanted was for Jack to come back home, to him.

 

“What’d’ya say, Jack? Can ya do that?” Ennis asked again.

 

Jack had to stop holding back and trust in the love that Ennis had for him, trust in the love they had for each other. And although the Ennis that stood before him now was different to the one he left four years ago, inside he was still the same. Although reconciling that still may take some time. But if Ennis was willing to give him the time to adjust, he should be able to do the same. It was the only fair thing to do, and maybe, just maybe, the strain on their relationship would ease some.

 

“I can. Starting right now.” Jack promised honestly. He really did want to start doing his bit for the farm’s business and this was a good place to begin. He wanted to feel better about the changes in his life and he needed to put things right between him and Ennis.

 

“You mean that?” Ennis asked sceptically.

 

“You bet, Ennis.” Jack moved closer to his partner and put a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll do my best. I promise.” And then he gave Ennis a quick kiss on the cheek. It wasn’t an intimate kiss, more the friendly sort, in a conciliatory gesture.

 

Ennis took whatever Jack would give him at this point, he was just happy that some sort of compromise had been reached. “Okay, then. Why don’t I fill you in on what’s been happenin’ around here, darlin',” Ennis started. “Dina and Sunshine are about to foal and I could sure use some help there. Then there are the colts that are ready for training. And I think I mentioned to ya before how I wanna try and get some new buyers in. I reckon we have some real strong bloodlines here.” Ennis chatted on excitedly about his plans and Jack listened as he watched Ennis gesticulating as he spoke. It was the most animated he'd seen him in a long while.

 

He couldn’t help but think how much Ennis had changed since they’d first met. Jack liked this new version of Ennis - it was different, but in a good way. Of course, there he still had some adjusting to do with his new surroundings, and even though it would be a difficult task, he thought maybe he could try just a bit harder.

 

Ennis had given him his space to adjust but if Jack was honest with himself, he'd been taking advantage of it. And as often as he'd done it, it didn't sit right with him. Jack needed to show Ennis he was appreciated in his efforts and that he was glad to be home.

 

So, Jack listened earnestly to Ennis and they made plans for Jack to be involved in the birthings and to use his natural salesman skills to market the business. In doing so, Jack actually felt like he was coming alive, like he was somehow shedding some of the shadows of the past and he wasn’t just some worthless piece of lint.

 

He was slowly getting used to his freedom again and that was something he was grateful for and over the next few weeks, it was as if Jack became a changed man. He was more eager to get involved in the business and he did come up with a great marketing plan that was already starting to bring in more buyers. He turned on the charm and so far he’d managed to get two new contracts signed for the purchase of two of their finest colts, with the option to buy more.

 

Ennis could not have been prouder of Jack than he was at that moment. And to see Jack smiling again and having fun made Ennis happier than he had been in a while. The only downfall was that Jack was still reluctant to show any type of intimacy toward Ennis, other than a touch here and there with a few stolen kisses on Ennis’ part.

 

~~~

 

Jack felt good, happier than he had for a while and things were going well at home. He and Ennis were taking one step at a time and now he was on his way to see his dear friend. It had been over two months since he had last seen or spoke to him and he couldn’t wait to see him again.

 

It had been three days since Rufus had been home, and Jack figured that might be enough time to wait before barging in on the Roberts' reunion time. He knew how excited they had all been when Rufus' hearing went well, and that his release would be expedited in just a few short days. After all the years of being apart, Ellen deserved her time with her beloved husband before he showed up, dividing their time. But he had a powerful need to see Rufus, outside of jail, to let him know how very much he appreciated all he'd done for him. So three days after his release, Jack found himself on a familiar front door step.

 

Raising his hand to knock, he paused, hearing the laughter coming from the open front door. Then he caught a glimpse of the happy couple in a loose embrace, Rufus with his back to the door. Not wanting to intrude on this obvious intimacy, Jack took a step back and turned to go to his truck. Before he got another step, Ellen’s voice rang out loudly, "Stop right there, Jack Twist, and get your butt in here!"

 

Jack turned to see a big grin on Rufus’ face, beckoning him forward. "Better listen to her, Jack, she's been pretty demanding the last few days, and I certainly wouldn't want to be the one to make her unhappy. She's a feisty one!"

 

Ellen blushed, and gave her husband a gentle push. “Rufus! Jack doesn’t need to know about that stuff,” she chastised playfully before greeting Jack properly and opening the screen door, then making an excuse about needing to see to something and quietly slipped into the kitchen. It was an obvious bluff, but Jack was grateful, since she knew how much he wanted to visit with his friend.

 

Jack swallowed hard, and all the things he'd wanted to say just flew out of his mind. He just stood there, unknowingly broadcasting his thoughts across his face, the naked emotions there for Rufus to see. Rufus smiled at the man who'd become his brother, then opened his arms.

 

Jack hugged him hard, and a sense of relief washed over him. Reluctantly he pulled back, and smiled at his friend. “Damn, it’s good to see you, bud. You look great. You’re beamin’, ya know?”

 

“Well, what can I say? Freedom agrees with me.”

 

“I’ll say.”

 

“Let me get us a beer and we’ll sit out back and you can fill me in on what’s been happening with you.”

 

They went through the kitchen and grabbed some beers. Rufus kissed Ellen and whispered in her ear, causing her to blush again before she swatted him with the dish towel. “Shoo, go entertain your friend.” She smiled and winked at Jack.

 

Jack couldn’t help but feel jealous with their ease of intimacy. He wished he could feel so carefree with Ennis. He tried to put that out of his head and winked playfully back at Ellen, not wanting to cause any reason for them to feel bad at their happiness.

 

The men settled themselves in a couple of sun chairs and Rufus looked over at his friend. “So, Ellen tells me you’ve been visiting her and the kids. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that, Jack. They love you, you know?”

 

“I made a promise to you and I love them, too. You have a wonderful family.”

 

“Yeah, they are pretty damn great.” Rufus agreed, the pride in his voice obvious. “I can’t believe how great it feels to be home. But then you’d know all about that, right? Living it up on the outside. Back with your man and from what I hear, the business is doing very well.”

 

“Yeah. Ellen been fillin’ ya in?” Jack asked.

 

“Maybe,” he winked. “So where is your cowboy, by the way? I thought he might have come with you.”

 

“He couldn’t get away and besides, I didn’t think you’d want to be too crowded. I mean you’ve only been home a few days. I feel bad enough not letting you have your space for longer before I came barging in.”

 

“Hey, you’re welcome here any time and so is Ennis. Maybe we should all get together, you know the four of us. Get a sitter for the kids and have us a night out.”

 

“Maybe,” Jack said non-committally.

 

“So, tell me kid, how ya been and don’t bullshit me, either. I could sense something wrong the moment I saw you.”

 

It was as if that was the impetus he needed to finally let it out and Jack told Rufus all the things he should have been telling Ennis. It was so easy to tell Rufus how he felt and about his fears and guilt. After four years of being so close to Rufus, it was hard to get out of the habit. If you really looked at things from a different perspective, Jack had known Rufus a lot longer and shared more with Rufus than he had with Ennis. Jack and Rufus were truly like brothers.

 

Rufus listened to Jack and didn’t judge him. Ennis had never judged Jack on his actions either, he had just showed concern and tried to get Jack to open up to him like he was doing now. Rufus could see slivers of guilt and uncertainty pass over his friends face and he really felt for him. Jack was such a sweet soul who’d been through so much. He just wanted to protect him from all the hurt and fear that somehow plagued Jack. But it wasn’t his job anymore. That had been passed over to Ennis. If only Jack would accept it. It was something Rufus would have to work on, too.

 

In an attempt to move on from the melancholy, Rufus asked about the business and Jack talked a mile a minute on its progress. There were a few moments where Rufus thought he saw a flash of resentment and even guilt, but for the most part it was happy and animated. He could see that Jack was genuinely proud of the businesses accomplisments.

 

Conversation switched back to Rufus and he filled Jack in on his plans to find work again. Even though he had a trade as a mechanic, he knew he might find it hard to find a job after do long inside. Before going to jail, he had owned a thriving mechanical business that he’d been forced to sell. But at least the funds from the sale had helped to support his family.

 

“You know, business is good at the farm, you could always come work with me.”

 

“Thanks, Jack. But I reckon I’ll be okay.” Rufus gripped his shoulder. “I’ll keep it in mind, though."

 

“It’s the least I can do. I owe you so much,” Jack told him sincerely. “You did so much for me and helped me through a lot.”

 

“I wished I could have done more.”

 

“You did enough, more than enough. Thanks for being there, my friend. As long as I live, I'll never forget all you did for me.” Jack covered Rufus’ hand on his shoulder and squeezed it fondly.

 

“I could say the same for you. Like I said before, Ellen and the kids love you and so do I, Jack. You know you’re part of the family now, don’t you? Can’t back out now, either, I’m afraid you’re stuck with us,” he laughed and as he was about to speak again, the front screen opened and slammed shut. “Guess that means the kids are home.”

 

Billy and Jenna came running out the back and when they saw Jack they bounded over to greet him. “Well, I see I’m not needed here,” Rufus complained good naturedly, to which the kids giggled over and jumped on him after they’d jumped all over Jack.

 

It was natural for Jack to be drawn to such a loving family. It was something Jack didn’t have growing up. His father had always made him feel worthless and unloved. His mother gave him what she could, but the old man had eventually worn her spirits down, too.

 

Here he felt loved and happy, accepted into a family life he never thought he'd ever be part of. He knew Ennis loved him, but that was something completely different, except he knew deep down, no less important.

 

Jack left soon after, determined to keep his promise to Ennis to be home to have dinner with him. He had taken the afternoon off and told Ennis where he was going. Ennis hadn’t said a word about it other than ‘have a good afternoon’ and ‘see ya for dinner.’ The latter had been more of a question, but one that Jack answered to Ennis’ liking.

 

He used the drive home wisely, knowing he had a lot to think about. He felt guilty at how easy is it had been with Rufus, while he was still so on edge with his partner. He wondered what Ennis’ reaction would be to meeting Rufus, his involvement having already caused some anxiety. He knew that Rufus would love Ennis, that wasn’t in question. He needed to focus on making things right. He wanted the two parts of his new life to come together, and in doing so, he felt that maybe he'd finally have the things he'd always wanted - to both be part of a loving family, and be with the partner he loved and needed.

 

~~~

 

Next part - http://madaboutms.livejournal.com/14399.html#cutid1

Comments

[samtyr.livejournal.com]

This is so good but I'm afraid that Jack and Rufus might get in trouble continuing their "relationship" in the real world. Off to read the second half...

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting on the first part. Jack and Rufus' relationship could be a bit of a sore point but we'll have to see.

Hugs

Sandy