It's Not Over - Chapter 9b
Jun. 29th, 2008 06:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
~~~
After his revelation, Jack tore out of Rufus’ and headed back to the farm, hoping against all odds that Ennis would be home. When Jack got there, he noticed Ennis’ truck was there and breathed a sigh of relief.
He knew he needed to at least try and talk to Ennis, to tell him what had been going on. And as much as it was screaming to get out, he couldn’t figure out how to do it. Ennis had been begging him to let him in and all he kept doing was pushing him further away. What the hell had he done? Was it too late?
He had been relying on Rufus to keep him afloat and in turn, it had made Ennis feel like he was worthless, that he couldn't help Jack through his pain. It wasn’t that Ennis couldn’t, it was that Jack wouldn’t let him; didn't even let him close. He had hurt Ennis more than he could know and he really didn’t know how to fix it. All he knew was he had to at least try.
Pulling up beside the other truck, he killed the engine and ran into the house.
“Ennis,” he called out. “Ennis, where are ya?”
No answer.
He did a quick search and found him coming out of their bedroom. Ennis stopped when he saw Jack. “Decided to come home, did ya? Why don’t ya just go back to yer friend and leave me be. It’s what ya want, anyway,” Ennis spat.
“That’s not true,” Jack protested.
“Sure feels like it, bud. But I tell ya what. Ya don’t want to be around me no more, I’ll make it easy on ya.” Ennis looked Jack straight in the eyes, hurt radiating from his own. "This way, you can just put it all on me.”
Ennis turned around and headed back into the bedroom and moved into the bathroom where he collected his toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and some soap.
“What d’ya mean?” Jack asked shakily, wondering what the hell Ennis was doing.
Ennis pushed past Jack and shoved the items into a stuffed duffle bag on the bed, one that Jack hadn’t noticed there before.
“What are ya doin’, Ennis?” Jack knew full well what he was doing. He was doing exactly what Jack told him to do.
Ennis threw is over his shoulder and walked away without answering, then went out to the back porch, picked up a toolbox and headed for his truck. If Jack didn’t want him there, wanted to be free of him, then that’s exactly what Ennis would give him. If Jack was so intent in pushing Ennis further away every day, he would go and then Jack would see what it felt like to be pushed away, to be alone.
“Ennis!” Jack shouted after him. “Where are ya goin’?”
“Away.” He threw his duffle in the back of the truck with his camping gear and then opened his door. "Just where ya want me, friend."
“Okay, for how long?”
“However long I need. Don’t trouble yerself now, Jack. Ya wanted time. I’m givin’ ya what ya want.”
“Damn it, Ennis, what’s goin’ on? Are you leaving me?” he asked, his voice a quiver.
He turned back and said very calmly, “How can I leave ya when ya never really came back to me?”
“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”
“When ya decide ta start livin’ again, come find me. Until then, I don’t think can stand it.”
“Ennis, please,” Jack begged, tears falling down his face. “Please, Cowboy!”
“I’ll see ya around, Jack Twist.” With that, Ennis got in the truck and pulled away, leaving Jack in a cloud of dust.
When the dust had cleared, a broken man, with dirt stained tears, stood motionless, watching his whole life crumble before him - as his only reason for living drove away.
~~~
TBC
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on 2008-06-29 08:40 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-06-29 08:57 am (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 08:54 am (UTC)I do hope he comes to his senses soon. I hate seeing these two so distant from one another.
Very intense chapter. I can't wait for more. : )]
Debra
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on 2008-06-29 09:00 am (UTC)That was my thinking. Things just weren't going anywhere and maybe this will give Jack a wakeup call.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 10:47 am (UTC)Neyla
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on 2008-06-29 11:21 am (UTC)A man can only stand so much before he breaks. Let's see where it gets them.
I hope I can get the next chapter up sooner this time.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 11:46 pm (UTC)Yeah your cliffhangers can be doozys. LOL!
It was a bit of a jaw dropper I agree but a necessary one. Yes it is heartbreaking too but maybe just what is needed.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 11:58 am (UTC)): PJ
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on 2008-06-29 11:48 pm (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 12:02 pm (UTC)Oh god...that line is devastating *sobs*
But...I'm going to take heart. I think Ennis giving Jack space to figure out what he wants from the rest of his life is a good thing. I think it will force Jack to confront his problems and deal with them because, as he said himself, he loves Ennis more than anything and he can't be without him. I only hope it doesn't take too long...
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on 2008-06-29 11:50 pm (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 12:17 pm (UTC)Great update.
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on 2008-06-29 11:50 pm (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 12:22 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-06-29 11:51 pm (UTC)When push comes to shove, somtimes it's the only things to do.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 11:53 pm (UTC)Thanks for continuing to read.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 12:30 pm (UTC)I hate to see our boys apart and hurt, but I understand that you had to do this. I just hope that Jack will wake up now and try to fix things; go and see someone who can help him and then find Ennis to finally be with him, in all the meanings of the word.
This was a hard chapter for me to read, but I did it. Thank you for sharing.
I really hope that you'll update soon and I hope that your ankle is much better! Take care!~
Mira
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on 2008-06-29 11:54 pm (UTC)Yes he really left. He'd been trying so hard but it just wasn't enough. It it a hard fact to swallow but Ennis had his breaking point and this was it.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 03:26 pm (UTC)Oh dear ... thanks for the update nevertheless.
All the best, B.
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on 2008-06-29 11:56 pm (UTC)Things may seem dark right now but it's not over yet, just in a state of darkness. The light is coming.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 04:15 pm (UTC)He is not doing it to destroy Jack but hopefully to wake him up.
Jack will be devastated, but he has come through many hard times and I believe this last kick in the gut was what is needed for him to seek help and fight to get Ennis back.
Thank you for a very difficult chapter to read but a very honest and realistic one.
Hugs
Torry
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on 2008-06-29 11:58 pm (UTC)I missed geting a comment from you on the last chapter. I'm assuming it may have just been too much. I'm so glad you commented this time around.
And again as much as a difficult chapter it was you stuck with it. Thanks for that.
They still have a while to go but I believe too that this was the right thing to do.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 05:06 pm (UTC)****
But...but...but...Ennis was the only reason for Jack to live...so now...what the hell is he gonna do? Die?
**crying my eyes out sooooo bad**
What an intense hard chapter, Sandy...... But your writing is so gorgeous.
Much love.
Tammy.
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on 2008-06-30 12:01 am (UTC)Don't cry, hon. How will Jack live? Well that's up to him now. Will he finally realise that the ball is in his court.
Next chapter up soon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 05:08 pm (UTC)please update soon
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on 2008-06-30 12:03 am (UTC)Update as soon as I can.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 05:29 pm (UTC)Emmy
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on 2008-06-30 12:05 am (UTC)Sad but appropriate I think. Thanks for reading.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 05:39 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for this update! I hope your ankle gets better fast.
Hugs,
Teri
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on 2008-06-30 12:06 am (UTC)It had to happen and yes Ennis could only take too much and no matter how hard or wrong it seems it was necessary.
The ankle is slowly getting there.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 06:17 pm (UTC)by bullies, told Ennis he would be better without him. Yet, I cannot help but feel stunned and dissapointed in Ennis that he would actually leave him--especially learning today more about the pain Jack's actually been through. That he is struggling with. Sure Ennis is hurt over these past four years, but it isn't anywhere near as much as all the years of Jack's hurt. I don't feel like he really loved him all that much if he could walk away from a begging and sobbing Jack. Just your description of him like this made my heart clench and want to hold him close--but Ennis just walks away:
“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”
Tough love be damned, if his goal is to let Jack realize what he's missing, or pay back to let him feel how it feels to be alone. Jack's shell was finally cracking and he was rushing home and begging, trying to reach out. Ennis turned his back on him. A broken Jack with even
more now to make him crumble. Shit he may close down again and stop talking.
These are my feelings, and I'm interested to read more. Your story is definitely highly charged, friend.
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on 2008-06-30 12:12 am (UTC)Well of course you are entitled to feel this way. Everyone has different opinions and that's wonderful. Each person takes from this story what they do and interprets it in their own way.
Tough love is the way it needed to go whether it was right or wrong. Ennis had been begging for months and to no avail. Everyone has their breaking point and this was Ennis'. Sometimes love really sux and you have to be a cruel to be kind. It's a cliche but hey so is most of life.
I should have the next chapter up soon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-29 07:30 pm (UTC)Thank you, this was a very good chapter, cannot wait to see what Jack will do !!
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on 2008-06-30 12:14 am (UTC)Yeah, Jack needs to talk to a professional. We knew that from the start. Let's see if this gives him the kick he needs.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 02:53 am (UTC)So many tears and heartbreak. I guess we all have our limits and Ennis does have one, too. Maybe Jack can get his head together and go find him.
Welcome back :)
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on 2008-06-30 04:07 am (UTC)Yeah some tears and heartache but necessary. More to come soon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 06:24 am (UTC)I am a Jackfan all the way, in other words he has always been my favorite but in this case I am all for Ennis. I am glad he left (of course he has to come back at some point PLEASE)Hopefully this will wake Jack up.
Looking forward to reading chap 10..
Thanks for sharing w/us,
C
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on 2008-06-30 12:43 pm (UTC)So glad you love it. I can't believe you just read all nine chapters at once. You must be an emotional wreck. :-(
Yeah I'm a Jack girl too but find myself leaning more toward Ennis. I'm a happy ending gal and even if there may be a bit more angst they'll get there eventually.
Thanks so much for reading.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 07:01 am (UTC)Thanks!
HT
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on 2008-06-30 12:46 pm (UTC)I like 'poignant' and it certainly is. I can see the light, the guys just have to hang on a bit m ore.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 07:18 am (UTC)LG Manu
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on 2008-06-30 12:48 pm (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 12:25 pm (UTC)Now Jack is alone at home, can not escape from everything, all the responsibilities as it has done so far.
Now you'll have to draw strength, stay and work, get home later.
Maybe this will help Jack, ... can not be passed life recreated in the damage of the past.
Ennis again.
Carmen
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on 2008-06-30 12:50 pm (UTC)Jack will definitely go through some stuff on his own but he may also come to realise that he needs to do something to help himself.
Thanks for reading, hon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 01:31 pm (UTC)I FEEL BAD FOR THEM BUT I THINK THEY'LL BE TOGETHER
AGAIN SOON, RIGHT?
PLEASE,SAY YES :)
FL.
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on 2008-07-01 02:11 am (UTC)Glad you liked the update. I hope to have the next chapter up by the weekend. Still a bit of a journey to go.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-06-30 01:48 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-07-01 02:12 am (UTC)Hugs
Sandy