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continuing on....


~~~

After his revelation, Jack tore out of Rufus’ and headed back to the farm, hoping against all odds that Ennis would be home. When Jack got there, he noticed Ennis’ truck was there and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

He knew he needed to at least try and talk to Ennis, to tell him what had been going on. And as much as it was screaming to get out, he couldn’t figure out how to do it. Ennis had been begging him to let him in and all he kept doing was pushing him further away. What the hell had he done? Was it too late?

 

He had been relying on Rufus to keep him afloat and in turn, it had made Ennis feel like he was worthless, that he couldn't help Jack through his pain. It wasn’t that Ennis couldn’t, it was that Jack wouldn’t let him; didn't even let him close. He had hurt Ennis more than he could know and he really didn’t know how to fix it. All he knew was he had to at least try.

 

Pulling up beside the other truck, he killed the engine and ran into the house.

 

“Ennis,” he called out. “Ennis, where are ya?”

 

No answer.

 

He did a quick search and found him coming out of their bedroom. Ennis stopped when he saw Jack. “Decided to come home, did ya? Why don’t ya just go back to yer friend and leave me be. It’s what ya want, anyway,” Ennis spat.

 

“That’s not true,” Jack protested.

 

“Sure feels like it, bud. But I tell ya what. Ya don’t want to be around me no more, I’ll make it easy on ya.” Ennis looked Jack straight in the eyes, hurt radiating from his own. "This way, you can just put it all on me.”

 

Ennis turned around and headed back into the bedroom and moved into the bathroom where he collected his toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and some soap.

 

“What d’ya mean?” Jack asked shakily, wondering what the hell Ennis was doing.

 

Ennis pushed past Jack and shoved the items into a stuffed duffle bag on the bed, one that Jack hadn’t noticed there before.

 

“What are ya doin’, Ennis?” Jack knew full well what he was doing. He was doing exactly what Jack told him to do.

 

Ennis threw is over his shoulder and walked away without answering, then went out to the back porch, picked up a toolbox and headed for his truck. If Jack didn’t want him there, wanted to be free of him, then that’s exactly what Ennis would give him. If Jack was so intent in pushing Ennis further away every day, he would go and then Jack would see what it felt like to be pushed away, to be alone.

 

“Ennis!” Jack shouted after him. “Where are ya goin’?”

 

“Away.” He threw his duffle in the back of the truck with his camping gear and then opened his door. "Just where ya want me, friend."

 

“Okay, for how long?”

 

“However long I need. Don’t trouble yerself now, Jack. Ya wanted time. I’m givin’ ya what ya want.”

 

“Damn it, Ennis, what’s goin’ on? Are you leaving me?” he asked, his voice a quiver. 

 

He turned back and said very calmly, “How can I leave ya when ya never really came back to me?”

 

“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”

 

“When ya decide ta start livin’ again, come find me. Until then, I don’t think can stand it.”

 

“Ennis, please,” Jack begged, tears falling down his face. “Please, Cowboy!”

 

“I’ll see ya around, Jack Twist.” With that, Ennis got in the truck and pulled away, leaving Jack in a cloud of dust.

 

When the dust had cleared, a broken man, with dirt stained tears, stood motionless, watching his whole life crumble before him - as his only reason for living drove away. 


~~~

TBC

Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

on 2008-06-29 08:40 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] cornflake2912.livejournal.com
How can you do that.... ? OH NO! please :(

on 2008-06-29 08:57 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Yes I'm afraid so. But take heart in the title - "It's Not Over".

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 08:54 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] sweetje.livejournal.com
As much as it hurts me to say this, maybe Ennis going away is what Jack needs right now. Maybe it will insight Jack into getting the help he so badly needs. He's having a breakdown, and if he keeps pushing Ennis away, Ennis is going to be there with him in that padded cell.
I do hope he comes to his senses soon. I hate seeing these two so distant from one another.
Very intense chapter. I can't wait for more. : )]
Debra

on 2008-06-29 09:00 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey Debra

That was my thinking. Things just weren't going anywhere and maybe this will give Jack a wakeup call.

Hugs

Sandy

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] eandj.livejournal.com - on 2008-06-29 10:54 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com - on 2008-06-29 11:15 am (UTC) - Expand

on 2008-06-29 10:47 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taranryan-13.livejournal.com
I hate to be right. Jack not talking to Ennis sooner has finally broken Ennis to where he has left. I only hope Jack get some help now so he can go after Ennis. Looking forward for the next chapter.

Neyla

on 2008-06-29 11:21 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Neyla

A man can only stand so much before he breaks. Let's see where it gets them.

I hope I can get the next chapter up sooner this time.

Hugs

Sandy
(deleted comment)

on 2008-06-29 11:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey Jen

Yeah your cliffhangers can be doozys. LOL!

It was a bit of a jaw dropper I agree but a necessary one. Yes it is heartbreaking too but maybe just what is needed.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 11:58 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] pjgale.livejournal.com
AAAHHH!!

): PJ

on 2008-06-29 11:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Yeah sorry PJ but it had to go down this way.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 12:02 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] noreins.livejournal.com
“How can I leave ya when ya never really came back to me?”

Oh god...that line is devastating *sobs*

But...I'm going to take heart. I think Ennis giving Jack space to figure out what he wants from the rest of his life is a good thing. I think it will force Jack to confront his problems and deal with them because, as he said himself, he loves Ennis more than anything and he can't be without him. I only hope it doesn't take too long...

on 2008-06-29 11:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
*hands tissues** Sometimes tough love is the only way to go. As much as ENnis loves him maybe this is the only way to help.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 12:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] adahleah.livejournal.com
I knew something like this was bound to happen but it does not make it feel any better. I have to agree with a lot of the other comments that Ennis leaving will force Jack to take action and do something about his problems. He is going to have to pick up all of Ennis' responsibilies on the ranch, I bet he won't feel useless for much longer.

Great update.

on 2008-06-29 11:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Yes, action is what was needed and this willbe a catalyst for something to happen.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 12:22 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] annabuffy.livejournal.com
Ahhh, how can you leave us hanging like that. I hope that this gives Jack a big wake up call. Ennis has hung in there, but maybe doing this Jack will finally push himself to open up or lose everything.

on 2008-06-29 11:51 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
I'm getting good at cliffhangers, aren't I? Teehee!

When push comes to shove, somtimes it's the only things to do.

Hugs

Sandy
(deleted comment)

on 2008-06-29 11:53 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
OMG yeessss! Painful but called for. It was needed to force Jack into something.

Thanks for continuing to read.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 12:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] mira986.livejournal.com
~Oh my God... he really left. I didn't think he would do it, but then again, I understand him in a way. Ennis was trying, trying and trying, and Jack kept pushing him away, not letting him in. Eventually, Ennis just couldn't stand it anymore.

I hate to see our boys apart and hurt, but I understand that you had to do this. I just hope that Jack will wake up now and try to fix things; go and see someone who can help him and then find Ennis to finally be with him, in all the meanings of the word.

This was a hard chapter for me to read, but I did it. Thank you for sharing.

I really hope that you'll update soon and I hope that your ankle is much better! Take care!~

Mira

on 2008-06-29 11:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Mira

Yes he really left. He'd been trying so hard but it just wasn't enough. It it a hard fact to swallow but Ennis had his breaking point and this was it.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 03:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] acquaalta.livejournal.com
OMG ... I never thought Ennis would really do it. But he just did. Hope this will wake Jack up. But then, he already did so before. So let's just hope everything will turn out fine. One thing though ... where is Jack supposed to look after Ennis?
Oh dear ... thanks for the update nevertheless.
All the best, B.

on 2008-06-29 11:56 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
B

Things may seem dark right now but it's not over yet, just in a state of darkness. The light is coming.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 04:15 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] torry28.livejournal.com
Sometimes you have to say no, when it is the hardest to do and you rather die then having to do it, but it is necessary. Ennis was at the end of the rope but he departed not without leaving a lifeline for Jack to cling to and pull himself up if he really wants to. He can just sit down and just let it all go and die or fight just one more time for something worth fighting for the love of Ennis and more important the love of himself. He has to learn to accept himself, love himself before he can accept love from someone else. I can identify with Ennis telling Jack when you want to live again look me up.
He is not doing it to destroy Jack but hopefully to wake him up.
Jack will be devastated, but he has come through many hard times and I believe this last kick in the gut was what is needed for him to seek help and fight to get Ennis back.
Thank you for a very difficult chapter to read but a very honest and realistic one.
Hugs
Torry

on 2008-06-29 11:58 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hi Torry

I missed geting a comment from you on the last chapter. I'm assuming it may have just been too much. I'm so glad you commented this time around.

And again as much as a difficult chapter it was you stuck with it. Thanks for that.

They still have a while to go but I believe too that this was the right thing to do.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 05:06 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] brokeback1963.livejournal.com
When the dust had cleared, a broken man, with dirt stained tears, stood motionless, watching his whole life crumble before him - as his only reason for living drove away.
****

But...but...but...Ennis was the only reason for Jack to live...so now...what the hell is he gonna do? Die?

**crying my eyes out sooooo bad**

What an intense hard chapter, Sandy...... But your writing is so gorgeous.

Much love.

Tammy.

on 2008-06-30 12:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Darling Tammy

Don't cry, hon. How will Jack live? Well that's up to him now. Will he finally realise that the ball is in his court.

Next chapter up soon.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 05:08 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] trekfan.livejournal.com
oh SHIT how are they gonna fix this? here have some crazy glue, somethin. please Ennis don't drive away from Jack. He's a broken man ya gotta help fix him!


please update soon

on 2008-06-30 12:03 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Ennis is broken and yes now is Jack but only he can make the start to put himself back together. He just has to step up and do it.

Update as soon as I can.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 05:29 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] haljbg.livejournal.com
Oh, what a sad chapter. But I think too it was the only possibilty for Ennis. Hopefully Jack will wake up and can find a way back to his life and to Ennis.
Emmy

on 2008-06-30 12:05 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey Emmy

Sad but appropriate I think. Thanks for reading.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 05:39 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] tmn1966.livejournal.com
Oh, my, I've been waiting for this to happen. Something had to give . . . unfortunately it was Ennis. Jack has been through so much and he feels he doesn't deserve anything good. I hope that Ennis leaving will be a positive thing in getting Jack what he needs.

Thanks so much for this update! I hope your ankle gets better fast.

Hugs,
Teri

on 2008-06-30 12:06 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Teri

It had to happen and yes Ennis could only take too much and no matter how hard or wrong it seems it was necessary.

The ankle is slowly getting there.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 06:17 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bbmjack324.livejournal.com
Ennis said he loved him, he was his life, and he wanted to help him. Jack has been through hell and yes he's been distant, confused, and because of his self hatred born
by bullies, told Ennis he would be better without him. Yet, I cannot help but feel stunned and dissapointed in Ennis that he would actually leave him--especially learning today more about the pain Jack's actually been through. That he is struggling with. Sure Ennis is hurt over these past four years, but it isn't anywhere near as much as all the years of Jack's hurt. I don't feel like he really loved him all that much if he could walk away from a begging and sobbing Jack. Just your description of him like this made my heart clench and want to hold him close--but Ennis just walks away:

“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”

Tough love be damned, if his goal is to let Jack realize what he's missing, or pay back to let him feel how it feels to be alone. Jack's shell was finally cracking and he was rushing home and begging, trying to reach out. Ennis turned his back on him. A broken Jack with even
more now to make him crumble. Shit he may close down again and stop talking.

These are my feelings, and I'm interested to read more. Your story is definitely highly charged, friend.

on 2008-06-30 12:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey

Well of course you are entitled to feel this way. Everyone has different opinions and that's wonderful. Each person takes from this story what they do and interprets it in their own way.

Tough love is the way it needed to go whether it was right or wrong. Ennis had been begging for months and to no avail. Everyone has their breaking point and this was Ennis'. Sometimes love really sux and you have to be a cruel to be kind. It's a cliche but hey so is most of life.

I should have the next chapter up soon.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-29 07:30 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ramona4jake.livejournal.com
Well, maybe it's for the best, Jack needed a shock to pull him out of his misery and do something about it ! Now he's left alone... and with the ranch on his hands ! Going to that shrink and working hard might be the best for him...
Thank you, this was a very good chapter, cannot wait to see what Jack will do !!

on 2008-06-30 12:14 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey

Yeah, Jack needs to talk to a professional. We knew that from the start. Let's see if this gives him the kick he needs.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 02:53 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fridayblues.livejournal.com
*sighs*
So many tears and heartbreak. I guess we all have our limits and Ennis does have one, too. Maybe Jack can get his head together and go find him.
Welcome back :)

on 2008-06-30 04:07 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Glad to be back!

Yeah some tears and heartache but necessary. More to come soon.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 06:24 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ousoonerfan.livejournal.com
Oh my I just read all 9 chapters...LOVE YOUR STORY!!!!

I am a Jackfan all the way, in other words he has always been my favorite but in this case I am all for Ennis. I am glad he left (of course he has to come back at some point PLEASE)Hopefully this will wake Jack up.

Looking forward to reading chap 10..

Thanks for sharing w/us,
C

on 2008-06-30 12:43 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey there, C

So glad you love it. I can't believe you just read all nine chapters at once. You must be an emotional wreck. :-(

Yeah I'm a Jack girl too but find myself leaning more toward Ennis. I'm a happy ending gal and even if there may be a bit more angst they'll get there eventually.

Thanks so much for reading.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 07:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bentgyro.livejournal.com
This is such a poignant story and I so want them to work it out! I hope that Jack can make himself talk to Ennis and say what he really feels and that Ennis can hear the words.
Thanks!
HT

on 2008-06-30 12:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey HT

I like 'poignant' and it certainly is. I can see the light, the guys just have to hang on a bit m ore.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 07:18 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] manu42.livejournal.com
Oh no! Ennis is leaving! That is too much for me :-(
LG Manu

on 2008-06-30 12:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
**hands you tissue** It's sad but maybe the push Jack needed. Stick with me, things will get to where they need to be sooner or later.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 12:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] carmenmariabs.livejournal.com
It is more positive than Ennis away from the house, that it does Jack.
Now Jack is alone at home, can not escape from everything, all the responsibilities as it has done so far.
Now you'll have to draw strength, stay and work, get home later.
Maybe this will help Jack, ... can not be passed life recreated in the damage of the past.
Ennis again.
Carmen

on 2008-06-30 12:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Carmen

Jack will definitely go through some stuff on his own but he may also come to realise that he needs to do something to help himself.

Thanks for reading, hon.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 01:31 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] fl1789.livejournal.com
THIS WAS A GREAT CHAPTER,
I FEEL BAD FOR THEM BUT I THINK THEY'LL BE TOGETHER
AGAIN SOON, RIGHT?
PLEASE,SAY YES :)

FL.

on 2008-07-01 02:11 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
Hey

Glad you liked the update. I hope to have the next chapter up by the weekend. Still a bit of a journey to go.

Hugs

Sandy

on 2008-06-30 01:48 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] bbmbeliever.livejournal.com
maybe this is the only thing that will jar jack into action? more please. i hope things start looking up soon.

on 2008-07-01 02:12 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] madbottoms.livejournal.com
I reckon it was the only way to make Jack finally see. Next update by the weekend hopefully.

Hugs

Sandy
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