It's Not Over - Chapter 9b

[madbottoms]

continuing on....


~~~

After his revelation, Jack tore out of Rufus’ and headed back to the farm, hoping against all odds that Ennis would be home. When Jack got there, he noticed Ennis’ truck was there and breathed a sigh of relief.

 

He knew he needed to at least try and talk to Ennis, to tell him what had been going on. And as much as it was screaming to get out, he couldn’t figure out how to do it. Ennis had been begging him to let him in and all he kept doing was pushing him further away. What the hell had he done? Was it too late?

 

He had been relying on Rufus to keep him afloat and in turn, it had made Ennis feel like he was worthless, that he couldn't help Jack through his pain. It wasn’t that Ennis couldn’t, it was that Jack wouldn’t let him; didn't even let him close. He had hurt Ennis more than he could know and he really didn’t know how to fix it. All he knew was he had to at least try.

 

Pulling up beside the other truck, he killed the engine and ran into the house.

 

“Ennis,” he called out. “Ennis, where are ya?”

 

No answer.

 

He did a quick search and found him coming out of their bedroom. Ennis stopped when he saw Jack. “Decided to come home, did ya? Why don’t ya just go back to yer friend and leave me be. It’s what ya want, anyway,” Ennis spat.

 

“That’s not true,” Jack protested.

 

“Sure feels like it, bud. But I tell ya what. Ya don’t want to be around me no more, I’ll make it easy on ya.” Ennis looked Jack straight in the eyes, hurt radiating from his own. "This way, you can just put it all on me.”

 

Ennis turned around and headed back into the bedroom and moved into the bathroom where he collected his toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and some soap.

 

“What d’ya mean?” Jack asked shakily, wondering what the hell Ennis was doing.

 

Ennis pushed past Jack and shoved the items into a stuffed duffle bag on the bed, one that Jack hadn’t noticed there before.

 

“What are ya doin’, Ennis?” Jack knew full well what he was doing. He was doing exactly what Jack told him to do.

 

Ennis threw is over his shoulder and walked away without answering, then went out to the back porch, picked up a toolbox and headed for his truck. If Jack didn’t want him there, wanted to be free of him, then that’s exactly what Ennis would give him. If Jack was so intent in pushing Ennis further away every day, he would go and then Jack would see what it felt like to be pushed away, to be alone.

 

“Ennis!” Jack shouted after him. “Where are ya goin’?”

 

“Away.” He threw his duffle in the back of the truck with his camping gear and then opened his door. "Just where ya want me, friend."

 

“Okay, for how long?”

 

“However long I need. Don’t trouble yerself now, Jack. Ya wanted time. I’m givin’ ya what ya want.”

 

“Damn it, Ennis, what’s goin’ on? Are you leaving me?” he asked, his voice a quiver. 

 

He turned back and said very calmly, “How can I leave ya when ya never really came back to me?”

 

“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”

 

“When ya decide ta start livin’ again, come find me. Until then, I don’t think can stand it.”

 

“Ennis, please,” Jack begged, tears falling down his face. “Please, Cowboy!”

 

“I’ll see ya around, Jack Twist.” With that, Ennis got in the truck and pulled away, leaving Jack in a cloud of dust.

 

When the dust had cleared, a broken man, with dirt stained tears, stood motionless, watching his whole life crumble before him - as his only reason for living drove away. 


~~~

TBC

Comments

[bbmjack324.livejournal.com]

Ennis said he loved him, he was his life, and he wanted to help him. Jack has been through hell and yes he's been distant, confused, and because of his self hatred born
by bullies, told Ennis he would be better without him. Yet, I cannot help but feel stunned and dissapointed in Ennis that he would actually leave him--especially learning today more about the pain Jack's actually been through. That he is struggling with. Sure Ennis is hurt over these past four years, but it isn't anywhere near as much as all the years of Jack's hurt. I don't feel like he really loved him all that much if he could walk away from a begging and sobbing Jack. Just your description of him like this made my heart clench and want to hold him close--but Ennis just walks away:

“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”

Tough love be damned, if his goal is to let Jack realize what he's missing, or pay back to let him feel how it feels to be alone. Jack's shell was finally cracking and he was rushing home and begging, trying to reach out. Ennis turned his back on him. A broken Jack with even
more now to make him crumble. Shit he may close down again and stop talking.

These are my feelings, and I'm interested to read more. Your story is definitely highly charged, friend.

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

Hey

Well of course you are entitled to feel this way. Everyone has different opinions and that's wonderful. Each person takes from this story what they do and interprets it in their own way.

Tough love is the way it needed to go whether it was right or wrong. Ennis had been begging for months and to no avail. Everyone has their breaking point and this was Ennis'. Sometimes love really sux and you have to be a cruel to be kind. It's a cliche but hey so is most of life.

I should have the next chapter up soon.

Hugs

Sandy