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madbottoms) wrote2008-06-29 06:10 pm
It's Not Over - Chapter 9b
~~~
After his revelation, Jack tore out of Rufus’ and headed back to the farm, hoping against all odds that Ennis would be home. When Jack got there, he noticed Ennis’ truck was there and breathed a sigh of relief.
He knew he needed to at least try and talk to Ennis, to tell him what had been going on. And as much as it was screaming to get out, he couldn’t figure out how to do it. Ennis had been begging him to let him in and all he kept doing was pushing him further away. What the hell had he done? Was it too late?
He had been relying on Rufus to keep him afloat and in turn, it had made Ennis feel like he was worthless, that he couldn't help Jack through his pain. It wasn’t that Ennis couldn’t, it was that Jack wouldn’t let him; didn't even let him close. He had hurt Ennis more than he could know and he really didn’t know how to fix it. All he knew was he had to at least try.
Pulling up beside the other truck, he killed the engine and ran into the house.
“Ennis,” he called out. “Ennis, where are ya?”
No answer.
He did a quick search and found him coming out of their bedroom. Ennis stopped when he saw Jack. “Decided to come home, did ya? Why don’t ya just go back to yer friend and leave me be. It’s what ya want, anyway,” Ennis spat.
“That’s not true,” Jack protested.
“Sure feels like it, bud. But I tell ya what. Ya don’t want to be around me no more, I’ll make it easy on ya.” Ennis looked Jack straight in the eyes, hurt radiating from his own. "This way, you can just put it all on me.”
Ennis turned around and headed back into the bedroom and moved into the bathroom where he collected his toothbrush and toothpaste, a razor and some soap.
“What d’ya mean?” Jack asked shakily, wondering what the hell Ennis was doing.
Ennis pushed past Jack and shoved the items into a stuffed duffle bag on the bed, one that Jack hadn’t noticed there before.
“What are ya doin’, Ennis?” Jack knew full well what he was doing. He was doing exactly what Jack told him to do.
Ennis threw is over his shoulder and walked away without answering, then went out to the back porch, picked up a toolbox and headed for his truck. If Jack didn’t want him there, wanted to be free of him, then that’s exactly what Ennis would give him. If Jack was so intent in pushing Ennis further away every day, he would go and then Jack would see what it felt like to be pushed away, to be alone.
“Ennis!” Jack shouted after him. “Where are ya goin’?”
“Away.” He threw his duffle in the back of the truck with his camping gear and then opened his door. "Just where ya want me, friend."
“Okay, for how long?”
“However long I need. Don’t trouble yerself now, Jack. Ya wanted time. I’m givin’ ya what ya want.”
“Damn it, Ennis, what’s goin’ on? Are you leaving me?” he asked, his voice a quiver.
He turned back and said very calmly, “How can I leave ya when ya never really came back to me?”
“Ennis, please, don’t do this. I promise I’ll do better. I’m sorry I told ya to go. I don’t want ya to leave me.”
“When ya decide ta start livin’ again, come find me. Until then, I don’t think can stand it.”
“Ennis, please,” Jack begged, tears falling down his face. “Please, Cowboy!”
“I’ll see ya around, Jack Twist.” With that, Ennis got in the truck and pulled away, leaving Jack in a cloud of dust.
When the dust had cleared, a broken man, with dirt stained tears, stood motionless, watching his whole life crumble before him - as his only reason for living drove away.
~~~
TBC
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