It's Not Over - Chapter 5b
May. 16th, 2008 09:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
.....and continuing on.....
~~~
A couple of nights after Jack had signed on some new buyers, Ennis cooked them a nice dinner. He was feeling content, so they had a few celebratory drinks and things were going good in general. During their meal they chatted about the business and Jack seemed happy enough with the way things were going and Ennis had to agree.
After dinner, they sat on the couch watching a telemovie before they got sleepy.
“I’m gonna go wash up and then go to bed. Thanks for tonight, it was… nice. Goodnight, Ennis.”
“You’re welcome. ’Night, Jack.”
Jack kissed Ennis lightly and went into the bedroom.
Ennis beamed at Jack’s voluntary sign of affection. He had to admit, Jack was putting in an effort and he liked what he was seeing. With a grin on his face, Ennis moved into the kitchen and whistled a tune as he cleaned up, before heading into get ready for bed himself. By the time Ennis had finished in the shower and got into bed, Jack was slumbering on his back, breathing softly, his chest rising and falling with each intake of breath.
As Ennis got into bed, Jack stirred and opened his eyes dreamily and smiled at Ennis. “Hey, Cowboy. Comin’ to bed?”
“Yeah, Darlin’,” Ennis replied, knowing Jack was somewhere between sleep and wakefulness and sighed softly as Jack closed his eyes again.
Ennis settled on his side and watched him, almost afraid sometimes that if he were to look away, Jack would disappear. It was something that went through Ennis’s mind a lot since Jack had returned. His frequent absences had only compounded these feelings. The last few weeks had been wonderful and even though Jack was still reluctant to share his feelings, he was making an effort.
Feeling sleep calling him, he moved in close to Jack, placing an arm over his chest. Jack stirred slightly and turned on his side so that he was snug against Ennis' front.
“Mm…Ennis…” Jack mumbled sleepily.
“I’m here, Jack. Never gonna let you go.” Ennis nuzzled into Jack’s hair. “I love you, Jack,” he whispered. “Love ya so much.”
“Mm…Ennis…” Jack mumbled again and burrowed in closer, Ennis happily spooning behind.
Ennis reflected that at least even if Jack still wasn’t able to talk to him openly about his pain, he still felt safe enough in his arms at night and Ennis was thankful for that.
The next afternoon, when Ennis entered their bedroom, he spied Jack coming out of the bathroom towelling his hair dry, his naked body glistening. Ennis’ mouth watered as he stared at the angel before him, recalling how wonderful it used to be to when he could touch without question or reproach.
In the time it had taken him to enter the room and begin to daydream, Jack had managed to get partially dressed. Ennis hadn’t realised he’d been standing there that long. But before he knew what he was doing, he was across the room and copping a feel of Jack's denim-clad ass.
“Don’t do that!” Jack warned, as he whipped around to face Ennis.
“What? Did I hurt ya, darlin’?” Ennis couldn’t help it. He’d just come into the room and saw Jack standing there in all his gorgeous glory and simply had to touch him. It'd been so long since he’d been able to experience their bodies coming together in passion.
In the two or so months since Jack’s release he’d not been too welcoming in anything sexual, but Ennis had thought they’d made some progress. Ennis wanted… needed to be with Jack again and it was something he had been unable to do. They had not made love in such a long time. At first Ennis had not questioned it, accepting the fact that Jack needed time to adjust to his new surroundings. But he couldn’t help but think if it were him, he would have been screaming for release, as he was now, for the need to touch and be touched.
“Jack, what’s wrong? Talk to me, please? I mean as much as you’ve gotten into the business and such, you've still been real distant lately and I’m beginnin’ to think …well…do ya wanna be with me?”
“What? No… I mean yes, of course I want to be with you. I’m sorry I've been acting standoffish but sometimes it’s all so much. I feel so…well, shit, I don’t know, Ennis. I can’t explain it.” Jack put on his shirt and buttoned it, trying to avoid looking at Ennis.
“Can ya try? ‘Cause I tell ya what, Jack, I just don’t know what ta think. You don’t hardly talk to me no more, except maybe business now. There was a time I couldn’t get ya to shut up unless I was kissin the shit outta ya. And then the noises ya made then… well nothing wrong with that…but now… now, you don’t hardly even want me to touch ya and before it was like we couldn’t get enough of each other. Shit, Jack. What am I supposed to think? I just wanna be with ya, darlin'.”
Jack finally looked at him and could see Ennis was hurting and it was hurting him, too. He really was an asshole. He just couldn’t stop hurtin’ the man he loved. “I’m sorry, Ennis. I don’t mean to be a prude or to turn ya away. I promise it’ll get better. I… I just need time.”
“How much time, Jack? It’s been two months. Hell, it’s been over four fuckin’ years. I love ya, darlin’ an’ I wanna make love to ya. I’m hurtin’ so bad, Jack.” Ennis raised his hand and touched Jack’s face, smoothing his fingers over Jack’s full lips. “So beautiful, lil’ one, so fine. Won’t ya let me in, please?”
“Ennis…”
“Please, darlin’, let me love ya!”
Jack trembled from Ennis’ touch, his whole body aching with need. He wanted to make love to Ennis, but….
“Oh god, Ennis,” Jack whispered, relishing the soft touch of Ennis’ hand. He closed his eyes and leaned into it, savouring it. “Ennis, I…” He opened his eyes and there were Ennis’ staring straight back at him, and his lips just an inch away.
Jack could feel Ennis’ warm breath tickle his lips and could almost taste the sweetness of his flavour. Jack couldn’t move, he was struck motionless, as if held in place by some invisible force. But he knew that force was the man in front of him, the man that wanted to love him and be loved.
Could he give Ennis what he wanted, what he needed? There were times in the last few weeks when he thought he could and wanted nothing more than to make love to his man, but he'd always held back. He could see Ennis was hurtin’ and it was breaking his heart and was just another reason Jack felt like he wasn’t worth it.
Ennis’ touch felt so good. Maybe, just maybe he could do it this time. Maybe he could make love to Ennis and then everything may not feel so bad, things may not seem so hopeless.
His decision made, Jack closed the gap between them and kissed Ennis, a sweet kiss that set him on fire and finally his mind and body were one. He gave in to the need that had been calling him for so long.
As they embraced, both men moaned and kissed the other hungrily, as if they were both starving.
Lifting his hand to Jack’s face again, Ennis gently released his lips and rubbed his thumb across Jack’s trembling bottom lip before adding his tongue to the caress. Blue eyes looked into whisky ones as messages were silently sent. He heard them say, “It’s alright, it’s alright.” And at this point, who was Jack to argue with it?
Jack’s body hummed with pleasure as they continued to devour each other with their mouths, his body on fire from the simple pleasure of Ennis’ mouth on his. This went on for a time, mouths making love with each other until their bodies cried for more.
Ennis’ hands stroked up his back and sides and he felt sparks surge through his body, with the heady smell of sex in the air, the musky scent was driving his need further. Ennis sought permission with his eyes and Jack replied by pulling him back toward the bed. He captured those lush, inviting lips again as they parted in anticipation and got lost in the warm depth of Jack’s mouth. He sucked his lover’s tongue lovingly and nibbled gently on his bottom lip, letting it drag slowly from his teeth. Oh god, how he had missed this man. He needed him so much.
He reached down between their bodies and felt Jack’s growing need and rubbed it through the fabric of Jack’s jeans. Moaning into his mouth, Jack pushed himself into Ennis’ grip and rocked against it. Ennis moved his other hand to Jack’s shirt and slowly began to unbutton it, pushing it over Jack’s broad shoulders. As it fell, he slowly kissed down Jack’s neck and mouthed the exposed skin, licking and mapping the collarbone.
Jack was reacting eagerly to Ennis’ touch and that spurred him on more. He reached for the button of Jack’s pants and unclasped it and then pulled the zipper down, exposing Jack’s hard, weeping cock. Ennis stroked it smoothly, his fingers then grazing over the sensitive slit, rubbing the viscous fluid that was leaking out.
“Ennis…please… oh, please,” Jack whimpered, almost overcome with pleasure.
Those words sent shivers down Ennis' spine and he was lost to the lust surging through him and all the pent up sexual frustration that had built up came to the surface. He whipped Jack around and ripped his jeans down roughly, pushing him down on the bed and pulled his own pants down.
Jack froze in fear and everything went all hazy. This wasn’t what he wanted. Through the fog in his head he heard Ennis spit and then he knew what was coming. He felt Ennis position himself behind him and lean over his back. Warm breath tickled his ear as Ennis growled, “Yeah, Jack, oh baby, I know what you need.”
“Ennis… Ennis… stop!” Jack whimpered. “Please!”
Ennis didn’t hear him and when pressed forward, Jack freaked and bucked, sending Ennis sprawling onto the floor. “I said STOP, you fucker!” Jack spat and crawled up to the head of the bed, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging them, a look of panic on his face.
“Jack? What did I do? I thought you wanted this.” Ennis asked worriedly. “Tell me, Jack, what?”
“I said stop, okay? I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
“I think you do, Jack.” Ennis stood and pulled his pants up before moving to the bed to sit near Jack. But Jack startled and jumped off the bed, pulling his own jeans up. “What the hell is goin’ on, Jack? I mean, you wanted it and then all of a sudden ya fuckin’ dump me on my ass.”
Jack looked spooked and Ennis didn’t know what to make of it. Things had been goin’ so well and Jack had responded so positively. They were about to make love for the first time in over four years and it had felt so great. Their bodies were calling for each other and coming together like they were meant to. Ennis tried to figure what had happened to make Jack freak out like that. It had all been going well until he… until he flipped him over roughly…
“Jack, someone try to hurt you, to touch you in jail?” he hissed. “Is that what’s goin’ on?”
“What?! Nothin’ happened. Nothin’ at all,” Jack said defensively. “You think that just ‘cause I said ‘No’. Well I can say ‘No’ if and when I want to, bud. Nothin’ happened,” he repeated. “So just shut the fuck up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” With that, Jack stormed out of the room, once again leaving Ennis speechless and puzzled by his actions.
Ennis didn’t buy Jack’s protestations. There was definitely something more to what had just happened. Had something happened to him in jail? Could that explain Jack’s reluctance to wanna be with him or to be here at all? Ennis knew he had to get Jack to talk to him, but that task was harder than it seemed. Usually you couldn’t get the man to shut up and now he hardly spoke at all.
Whatever the reasons, Ennis knew he needed to approach this gently, but damn it if it hadn’t already frustrated the shit out of him. It was a bitch of a situation, and it was killing him that Jack wouldn’t talk to him. Not only did he hate it, but seeing Jack like this was tearing his heart apart little by little and if he didn’t figure something out soon, something was gonna break and he didn’t think his heart could take it again.
~~~
TBC
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on 2008-05-16 11:45 am (UTC)BTW - love this story!!!
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on 2008-05-16 12:02 pm (UTC)I wondered if I'd get any comments before heading to bed this evening. Thanks for reading and I'm so glad you're liking my little tale.
I guess some of my hints are more obvious than others. Not good when you're trying to keep people wondering but we won't have to wait too long for some revelations.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 12:23 pm (UTC)Maybe it would be a good idea for Rufus and Ennis to meet. I think they would get along great and maybe Rufus can help Ennis understand what it was like for Jack to be in jail.
This story is really good! Thanks so much for this wonderful update!
Teri
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on 2008-05-16 12:29 pm (UTC)Rufus wants to meet Ennis and I think it would be a good idea too. But I think as much as Jack wants both parts of his life to come together he is keeping them seperate to try and protect himself - sounds weird I know.
The hardest part will actually be me trying to get Jack to talk, he's a stubborn bastard and just wants to stay closed mouthed for a bit longer.
Thanks for sticking with it.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 12:31 pm (UTC)More please!
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on 2008-05-17 12:41 am (UTC)Thanks for reading.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 12:32 pm (UTC)Neyla
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on 2008-05-17 12:44 am (UTC)Both men are suffering but you're right about Ennis, something has got to happen soon. Stay tuned.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 01:13 pm (UTC)What's most disturbing is the way Jack lashes out at Ennis and I find it extremely hurtful.
Thanks Sandy,
-Lily
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on 2008-05-17 12:46 am (UTC)Rufus is a good friend and wants Jack and Ennis to be happy.
You always hurt the one you love and Jack realises that. I find it hard writing Jack hurting Ennis but it's just how it is coming out. I'm afraid that there is still more angst to come but remember I am a happy ending gal. :-)
Hugs
Sandy
It is not over
on 2008-05-16 01:57 pm (UTC)Re: It is not over
on 2008-05-17 12:48 am (UTC)I try to make it interesting as much as possible. I'm so glad you are so happy with it.
Things will come to a head soon. Keep reading.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-17 12:54 am (UTC)Rufus was there at a time of great need and when Jack was at his lowest. There is more to it though and that will eventually come out.
It is heart wrenching and I'm afraid there is mor angst heading their way.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 04:25 pm (UTC)Thanks for sharing this
Cassie
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on 2008-05-17 01:01 am (UTC)Glad you're liking this little angsty story. There are a few issues Jack needs to work through about jail and his past.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 04:58 pm (UTC)please keep writing
:)
fl.
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on 2008-05-17 01:02 am (UTC)Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 05:00 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-05-17 01:04 am (UTC)Yeah he definitely needs t talk to someone but in his mind, Ennis is not that person. It is understandable to think that there are some things that he just can't talk to him about.
He knows what he has to do, he just has to do it.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 05:26 pm (UTC)Thank you, please up-date soon !
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on 2008-05-17 01:06 am (UTC)Yep, you're right. It is a delicate subject and something he would rather not discuss with Ennis. But it goes deeper too.
I reckon Ennis and Rufus could become good friends too and who knows what will happen.
I have all my notes and basic drafts done for the next few chapters, I just have to tweak them and get them beta'd.
Stay tuned.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 06:30 pm (UTC)I don't know with whom to be sorrier.
I don't see yet why Jack doesn't talk to Ennis. His thoughts explain a lot, but not this. What is he shutting out?
Ennis should talk to Rufus. With or without Jack's knowledge and permission.
And soon!!!
Thank you for the update, have a nice weekend, B.
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on 2008-05-17 01:12 am (UTC)Thanks for reading and more to come soon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 06:53 pm (UTC)Ennis’ mouth watered as he stared at the angel before him, .....Ennis raised his hand and touched Jack’s face, smoothing his fingers over Jack’s full lips. “So beautiful, lil’ one, so fine. Won’t ya let me in, please?”....“Jack, someone try to hurt you, to touch you in jail?” he hissed. “Is that what’s goin’ on?”....Not only did he hate it, but seeing Jack like this was tearing his heart apart little by little and if he didn’t figure something out soon, something was gonna break and he didn’t think his heart could take it again.
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on 2008-05-17 01:33 am (UTC)And I love it when I see quotes from the story too.
Thanks so much for feeding the muse metre. LOL!
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
on 2008-05-17 01:36 am (UTC)Jack certainly has some deap seated issues that he really can't reconcile at the moment. And as much as he knows he needs help it is not going to come from those around him. Only Jack can do it.
I do try to keep the atmosphere in sync with what's happening and thanks so much for complimenting that. I really appreciate it.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 08:07 pm (UTC)***
Ennis raised his hand and touched Jack’s face, smoothing his fingers over Jack’s full lips. “So beautiful, lil’ one, so fine. Won’t ya let me in, please?”
“Ennis…”
“Please, darlin’, let me love ya!”
***
And then, oh then.....
***
“I said STOP, you fucker!” Jack spat and crawled up to the head of the bed.
What?! Nothin’ happened. Nothin’ at all,” Jack said defensively. “You think that just ‘cause I said ‘No’. Well I can say ‘No’ if and when I want to, bud. Nothin’ happened,” he repeated. “So just shut the fuck up, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
***
And I was crying my eyes out.....Jesus....I suspected for a while that maybe someone rapped Jack in jail....but I didn't want to believe that....But I know it's a very common thing in jail...and Jack being so gorgeous...
I can't stand all this pain. Poor babies....
Sandy you're amazing. This is so good, and your writing so beautiful. Can't wait to read more...though I need some joy here, you know...
Thank you baby.
Tammy.
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on 2008-05-17 01:39 am (UTC)I really wanted to get some sort of intimacy into the story, I needed to sow that the passion and love is still there, even if it was short-lived. And now Ennis is getting more of an idea of Jack's issues even though it is not the only one.
I take it as a compliment that you were crying. And I don't know about being amazing, I just write what comes to me. I'll try to put some joy in but they have a lot more to go through.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 08:20 pm (UTC)Has Jack ever had to think about life without Ennis in it?
Jack has built his own prison around himself and although he is telling himself he loves Ennis he is holding himself captive unable to open a door. If he could see what life from here on out would be like with out Ennis in it, maybe that would finally cause a storm break down the walls and allow Jack to reach out and claim what he deserves, the love for Ennis, and Ennis love for him.
Thank you and Jodi for an achingly beautiful two chapters, once again wanting to just sit and cry and wishing for a magic wand.
Hugs to both
Torry
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on 2008-05-17 01:43 am (UTC)I'm wishing for a magic wand too, but you know sometimes an artificial solution isn't the best one. Sometimes it takes time to get to where you want to be.
A storm is coming and we will see what happens.
Thank you again for your wonderful commentary and compliments. Both Jodi and I appreciate it.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 09:17 pm (UTC)Also, great update.
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on 2008-05-17 01:45 am (UTC)Yeah sorry for that. LOL! I really wanted to get some hope and passion into the story but I guess they still have some obstacles to get through.
Ennis will get his chance to vent. It's surely coming. Thanks so much for reading.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 09:31 pm (UTC)I had a feeling that Jack was going through a difficult time but this is so hard to read. He is so damaged from him time in Jail, Ennis really does need to tread carefully. It's time for Jack to give him something to work with though, not sexually but emotionally. They are meant to be together, in sickness and in health. Its time for walls to be torn down and for stronger ones to be rebuilt in there place.
Thank you for this truly captivating update. You write with vision and depth. Love it.
Joanne Xx
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on 2008-05-17 01:50 am (UTC)Jack has been through some crap and it really is causing so much pain and confusion. Life is not without pain but it does seem that Jack has had more than he should have. But life has a way of doing that.
I hope the other chapters on the way will be able to hold your attention as much and that I can live up to such praise. Thanks so much.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-16 09:33 pm (UTC)Joanne Xx
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on 2008-05-17 01:34 am (UTC)no subject
on 2008-05-17 01:52 am (UTC)Thanks for continuing to read and comment. Jack's inability to open up will eventually bring things to a head, but that will probably be the impetus Jack needs to get his act together.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-17 08:40 am (UTC)This was a fantastic chapter. I love reading this story. I'm looking forward to more. : )
Debra
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on 2008-05-17 11:29 pm (UTC)Jack was definitly spooked and we will find out soon. Their relationship is on very rocky ground, we'll have to wait and see how that goes.
Glad you're enjoying all the angst. :-)
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-17 04:59 pm (UTC)Another wonderful update. Enjoyed the reunion betw Jack and Rufus. Rufus sensed that everything is not alright with Jack and he know it's Ennis who must help Jack now. Poor Jack & Ennis they both suffering cause Jack wont open up to him. Love how it started so tenderly and then the lovemaking turned ugly for Jack and Ennis knows something bad has happened to Jack in prison. Hopefully Jack will open up to Ennis, maybe Jack thinks he doesn't deserve Ennis love cause of what happened in prison. Your writing is just beautiful and you're exploring the confusion and complexity both guys are going thru. This is a fabulous story Sandy. Thanks for writing this. Hugs.
Jess
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on 2008-05-17 11:34 pm (UTC)I should be thanking you for all the wonderful comments. It is really overwhelming sometimes. But thanks so much.
The boys are in a bit of a quagmire at the moment and the struggle may just make them sink further into the muck.
When I write I try to put myself into the shoes of the person I am writing about and think - 'is this how I would feel?'. Most of the time it comes out how I want it.
More to come soon.
Hugs
Sandy
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on 2008-05-17 09:31 pm (UTC)Mira
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on 2008-05-17 11:36 pm (UTC)My heart cries too. I was re-reading a scene I had written and I felt my own tears welling up, so that says something. Other stories can do that to me but never my own - well not usually.
Thanks for commenting again.
Hugs
Sandy